The Unbookables Wrestlemania

Hello! It's another WrestleMania week blog, I can't believe I haven't died yet- or maybe I have and this is me writing blogs from beyond the grave *Twilight Zone doo do do do thing*. Anyway this is a blog that'll ring true with quite a few people, everyone has their favourites who they think "deserves more" so I thought it would be interesting to book an "Afterthoughts" Wrestlemania so I'm going to book a whole card off of the guys involved in the Andre Battle Royal, or simply aren't on the card at all.

I'm working on the basis of the Andre the Giant BR List I've seen plus the guys who to the absolute best of my knowledge are fit and ready- and they just aren't on the card. I'm also excluding NXT Guys because that's a blog I did earlier on in the week. This is in effect the Moneyball version of Wrestlemania.

As this is looking at the potential of guys as much as anything else I've decided to play around a bit with their gimmicks so they won't necessarily be exactly the gimmick they are now- but for the most part I've kept them as either a Babyface or Heel as they are in the "WWE Universe". I'm also working on the format of a 9 Match card including the Pre-Show because after all that's what we're getting this year. I've also excluded titles from the equation just because it'd be way too complicated.

Pre-Show: The Ascension v Primetime Players- Tornado Tag Match
It looked at one (very brief) stage we would be seeing these two at the very least as part of the Tag Team Title Match at Mania when Titus saved Darren when him and his unnamed jobber friend (who I think he found on Grindr) were getting killed by The Ascension a few weeks back. But instead we've gotten these two teams being relegated to the Battle Royal, and they're both really capable Tag Teams. I don't know why the Primetime Players were broken up in the first place, it was clear the WWE had nothing for either guy despite Darren's "coming out" because he wasn't good enough to get a massive push, then you come to The Ascension who for the sake of this blog aren't the LOD/Road Warriors rip-off Vince made them, and they're reverted back to their NXT simple, yet effective gimmick.

I made it a Tornado Match because predominantly we haven't had one in absolutely forever- and this type of match creates a scenario with enough combustible elements to create a good match. None of these guys are what you'd call "outstanding" ring-workers, but these two are Tag Teams who know how to work together so they could put in a good match, with the Tornado stipulation they could employ their Tag Team moves to a good level and put on a good match.

Miz v Mizdow- Last Man Standing
This is the most likely of any of the matches on this card that could have actually happened on the real card in a few days. I don't have to massively tweak what's going on to make this a viable match for the card, just accelerate where they're at by a few weeks of back and forth with Mizdow eventually snapping and clocking Miz and them going from there.

I made it a Last Man Standing match because it is the match that is the most attached to the "Who's Better" Stipulation in my book, because they have to kill each other to the point where the other is down for a 10 Count; while there have been ways around it via Tape etc. in general it is the match they use to prove who is better and given the way the feud has developed to where Miz is seemingly jealous of Mizdow, why not?

Adam Rose v Zack Ryder
It perhaps isn't surprising this is on the list, anyone who's been on Twitter and is a Wrestling Fan will know of the "Twitter Feud" or "Tweud (No, Ok Then) that these two have embarked on presumably in order to try and make themselves relevant again. As such it is an avenue I thought I'd explore and try and make work.

To make the angle work we need to acknowledge Ryder's push- literally off the stage and into obscurity, and that can be the core of the angle. I'm sticking with current names so I'm avoiding Leo Kruger (although I think I've made it clear my feelings towards that gimmick as opposed to Adam Rose), so eliminating the possibility of that the best way to work this angle would be to work a "Zack Ryder is Inadequate" type angle and Rose could torment Rose with the many ways he (within the WWE Universe) "failed" and it could lead to Ryder snapping and showing us a side of him we haven't ever really seen. Just because I'm nullifying the potential for Leo Kruger doesn't mean we can't see a degree of aggression from Rose which we have seen in the past specifically when he killed the Bunny not so long ago. That'd also factor into the match because I'd have Rose losing the match via interference from The Bunny which'd set up an angle for Rose coming out the other side of Mania and would (eventually) be used to debut/re-debut/return someone.

Mark Henry v Jack Swagger- Submission Match
This is a match that required a bit more explanation, but I think it makes equal sense to some of the other matches I've booked on this card once I've explained it. In arguably one of the main angles of the summer we had Swagger and then Henry chasing Rusev in a desperate attempt to defend the honour of America. That would be the core of this feud with them very briefly becoming a Tag Team getting destroyed by Rusev in a Handicap Match and then Henry turning on Swagger come the end of the match. Mark Henry is just an amazing heel, his Hall of Pain Run was one of my favourite Heel Runs of the Last 10 Years which is why I'd have made him the heel- that combined with the fact even now the "We The People" thing is over for Swagger.

The Reason I've made this a Submission Match is to play into both guys history Pre-WWE, Mark Henry was a well publicised powerlifter- he's called the "Worlds Strongest Man" for a reason, and then Swagger is the "All American, American" amateur wrestler- so both of these guys have athletic backgrounds to play into, and this whole feud would be based on if Swagger could make Henry Tap Out to the Ankle Lock; for those of you who'll be wondering what Submission Henry would employ I'll direct you to the time the Bearhug was killing people via delivery from Mark Henry

Natalya v Naomi v Emma v Alicia Fox- Elimination Match
This is a pretty simple match to book, because as we all know every Woman hates every other Woman- it's a fact of life. But seriously, this would be a simply battle for supremacy- which is why I put in the Elimination Stipulation so the Woman who eventually wins will have overcame the other three and will have pinned at least one of them. I thought I'd balance it out with 2 Total Divas and 2 Non-TDs to make it a somewhat realistic match to accomplish within the confines of the WWE System (even though this entire blog subverts the concept of the pecking order) as such I picked the Two Total Divas who can actually wrestle and are off the card.

Ryback v Bo Dallas- Falls Count Anywhere
This is another one I have to explain to an extent- but it'll make sense within my fictitious  WWE Universe, especially if you read my Royal Rumble Predictions. So to expand on that if you're too lazy to find it- In "My Royal Rumble Match" so to speak I had Bo Dallas (who is available to book, he's doing House Shows with Tyler Breeze) hanging on for dear life (literally) in the Rumble Match before having Ryback who had just eliminated someone be distracted for a second- and long enough for Bo to eliminate him before swiftly being eliminated himself because he was celebrating his elimination of Ryback. Then the entire build for this feud would be based on Ryback chasing Bo for said elimination.

The Reason for this being a Falls Count Anywhere is because at Fast Lane the match will have ended in a Double Countout because Bo will have slapped Ryback and ran away with Ryback chasing him through the building with Bo just getting away, how do you prevent said thing happening again? You put in a Falls Count Anywhere Stip. I'd have it be a semi-competitive match with Bo focusing on Ryback's Knees to eliminate the Shellshocked- but this will be the Blowoff so of course Ryback will eventually get his win.

Sin Cara v Xavier Woods
I'm working on the basis that it's Big E & Kofi representing New Day in the Tag Match because that's the pairing we've seen in the build, so that leaves Xavier free for an In-Ring spot, so here he is. This is one of the one's I need to really explain for you lot to get on board with, and no this isn't simply a match I've thrown together just to fill out the card; because it is a seemingly random pairing.

The premise for this feud is a bit shaky, but I can see a way to make it work- and I'm not even paid to book, so surely the one's who are could do it. I'd start with a series of dark vignettes from Sin Cara, and him coming in as a heel and showing a proper dark-side, which'd be capped off with a re-designed mask- I'm not a graphic designer so I haven't attempted to put forward my design but it doesn't take a brain surgeon to work out what a Demon/Dark type Mask would look like. This would also be a good cross-promotional thing with NXT because I'd have them play up the relationship with Kalisto and Sin Cara thinking he's too good for NXT- and Xavier Woods being a product of NXT stepping in to defend the honour of it. See it's not so shaky now is it? If they wanted to push it a bit they could even have Sin Cara play up him being relegated to NXT and being teamed with Kalisto was because he's Mexican- and with the Del Rio firing still fresh in our minds that'd be a hot angle.


Goldust v Sheamus- Loser Leaves WWE
Yes, Sheamus isn't announced- but he's clearly ready for a return because they're running vignettes for him. This is another that needs a degree of explaining- but because I can see a way to make it work, surely the guys paid to make it work could also execute it to the same quality that I'm proposing here. I'm not exactly sure when Sheamus was ready to return but I think I saw something around Rumble time saying he was ready- so this match could have had enough of a build. In a way I'm glad I couldn't do the "cop out" Stardust v Goldust because I really had to think for this one.

I Remember when Sheamus came into his own on the Main Roster it was as the young upstart- and I'd revert to that gimmick to an extent, but a lot more vicious. Sheamus will go on a "Legend Killer" type run and eventually set his sights on Goldust as one of the true veterans in the company, and he'll make it his mission to destroy Goldust to the point of retirement, which is why I put the "Loser Leaves" Stip on this match. This could be a great back and forth match, but I'd have Sheamus kill Goldust- similar in a way to Cena/Lesnar at Summerslam- and it'd make Sheamus look like a true monster heel.

Curtis Axel v Big Show
No, I'm not joking. I've made no secret over my affection toward Axel- and his AxelMania movement he's put together since the Royal Rumble- I think he should win the Battle Royal and keep going from strength to strength with his "Often Imitated, But Never Eliminated" Gimmick- and if he can get in front of the Night after Mania crowd I think he'll be set for a few months at least; this is a pairing I hope we see at Wrestlemania in the Battle Royal and potentially a feud after- but more of that in my "Steal the Show" Moments Blog which is still to come.

Do I really have to explain this match? Axel has a Hogan-esque (although some including myself would argue Hogan has an Axel-esque) gimmick so he sets his sights on the biggest guy in the place to try and recreate the magical Bodyslam at Wrestlemania 3.

I hope you lot enjoyed this, I really loved booking with supposed limited resources; and you see so many people say the Talent Roster is thin- but I hope I've proved that with a little thought you can get a pretty decent Card out of the "Afterthoughts" and "Castaways".

Thanks for reading as always, we're now quite a way into this Mania week so I hope you've enjoyed the blogs you have decided to read- and I'd encourage you to look back over the list of the ones I've put up in case one takes your fancy on a second glance. Anyway, Stay Tuned for the blogs that'll be up later on today and all the way through the weekend- You Can almost taste the disappointment already.