Tuesday 9 February 2016

RAW Review: 8th February

Hello! Two weeks in a row, I know right? Well, unless you've been living under a rock you know what's happened with Daniel Bryan last night. So, I'll be giving this Review the full Daniel Bryan treatment. Discussing all things Daniel Bryan on top of the usual RAW Review. There was a number of, let's be honest less relevant stuff to the Daniel Bryan Retirement- however on the Road to Wrestlemania it can't stop for anyone and there's a Fast Lane to build.

Fast Lane Contract Signing
I actually really liked this segment. One thing I noticed about the show- especially the first hour was that it was seemingly sped up quite a bit in-terms of what happened in the time it did. Even with a lot of stuff seemingly being sped up they still managed to go way into Over Over-time because of the Bryan stuff. I do like that the build is seemingly focused on Brock and Ambrose, because as I said last week the WWE has to at least try and introduce an element of doubt when it comes to Roman winning in a few weeks time. They haven't exactly succeeded, but frankly I'll take a few more RAWs where the spotlight is off of Roman. As is tradition the Contract Signing degenerated into violence, but I just loved how Brock came off in the brawl. If there was any doubt that "Suplex City is going soft" this segment well and truly put it to bed.

Dolph Ziggler v Kevin Owens
In the build to this RAW, where I was considering the chances of the Daniel Bryan thing being a work I did consider the chances of Kevin Owens attacking Bryan. However, I quickly put that to bed when I remembered that this "feud" was still a thing. I still have absolutely no clue why they're feuding and especially why they're wrestling each other every week, presumably to set-up a Wrestling match at a PPV.

As I said last week, these two can't really put on a "bad" match, but at the same time there's only so many moves and so many counters to said moves that can be done in a WWE ring. I suppose that's one, of many negatives of WWE limiting move-sets.

The Usos & The Dudleys Backstage
This segment was pretty decent with what happened later in mind. It at least all made sense.

Charlotte v Alicia Fox
I suppose this is the best section to discuss Brie Bella and the Title Match at Fast Lane. Between Bryan retiring and Nikki fucking her Neck up- and possibly having to retire if that aspect of the surgery wasn't exaggerated by E. All of this has added up to a perfect storm of Brie Bella pushing. I think it's Cornette who has the "7 Year Rule" on angles, but I think there can be an exception at Fast Lane- with them borrowing from the Extreme Rules match after Edge had to retire. I won't be at all surprised if they have Bryan come out with Brie at Fast Lane, and in the build to the crescendo Bryan takes out Flair and Brie pins Charlotte. I'm not in favour of this happening for obvious reasons, but at this moment in time it's what I see happening without doubt.

MizTV w/ Chris Jericho & AJ Styles
As with last weeks MizTV segment I really liked it. I didn't like it nearly as much as last weeks, but I did still like it. The whole transition into the Highlight Reel complete with Potted Plant was quite fun all things considered and at least it was a completely new "thing". All of the Promos "worked", and it was great (and weird) to see them building to a Smackdown match on RAW.

It's become pretty obvious that AJ's become "Smackdown Exclusive" in-terms of wrestling, much like Daniel Bryan wanted to do with the IC Title. Especially considering AJ's Back Injury, I'm massively in favour of this for the time being. Smackdown on USA needed a "hook", and what better than AJ Styles? Then, once they've established Smackdown on USA over the next month or so- and AJ's back has hopefully gotten a lot better we can get AJ wrestling on RAW.

Bray Wyatt v Ryback
Firstly, kill it with the Goldberg jokes. To be frank, it's just boring. Yes, Ryback has moved to trunks and does that surprise me? Absolutely not. I can't remember the exact RAW Review, but I pretty much called Ryback moving to trunks at some point last summer. From memory Ryback was wearing a Tracksuit Top on Commentary and ripped it off. As soon as he'd shown how fucking massive he looked without the Singlet on I knew it was a case of when and not if.

With that said, it doesn't look like the shift to Trunks has changed his fortunes in-ring. The match was quite decent, but nothing more- but the Sister Abigail to Ryback and the way they transitioned into it was great.

I was expected a Big Show run-in during the after-match attack on Ryback, so now I'm assuming it's going to be Ryback and Show against two members of The Wyatts at Fast Lane. Or, they're going to take out two more people for a 4v4. SURVIVOR SERIES IS LOOKING UP!

New Day Backstage Promo
This was great. Everything from Big E singing to Xavier doing the old "8008135" joke on the Calculator. I know it's a surprise, but New Day does in fact still rock.

Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose Backstage Promo
This segment was pretty much exactly what I was expecting it to be, in-terms of Ambrose not wanting Roman's help against Brock. BECAUSE AMBROSE IS FUCKING TURNING.

"The Radical Mongoose" Adam Rose v Titus O'Neil
#RadicalMongoose #BestFriendsMakeBestTrends #BoRidaforSB51HalftimeShow #PrettyAverageMatch

Dean Ambrose calls out Brock Lesnar
This segment was great. As I've said a few times, I'm by no means Ambrose's biggest fan. But, credit to him- he's definitely risen to the occasion (see what I did there?) and for the last two weeks he's been top quality. I think it's best for everyone to just watch this segment, because I lack the descriptive abilities to properly put it over- but suffice to say I just loved this segment on the whole.

Alberto Del Rio & Rusev v The Lucha Dragons
Sin Cara's turning soon, it's such an easy story to tell- with an easier stipulation of a "Mask Match" for Mania. Of course, Sin Cara would be the one eventually unmasked- unless Stephanie's seen Kalisto's face and decided he needs to show it off like I believe she wanted to do with Ultimo Dragon. The match was fine, and I still fucking hate the Corner Stomp.

R-Truth & Goldust's Wacky Adventures
This segment was my least favourite "Golden Truth" segment so far, so I suppose all I can say is I hope it doesn't keep on this trajectory.

Tamina v Becky Lynch
TAMINA WON A MATCH ON RAW! NO, REALLY! TAMINA! DIVAS REVOLUTION!

New Day & Mark Henry Backstage
I said it at the time, but at least Mark Henry got to have a bit of fun on his latest excursion before his likely fast-approaching retirement. I was expecting El Torito, but as El Unicornio- so I suppose in that regard I'll take Henry any day of the week.

The Usos & The Dudleys v New Day & Mark Henry- Tables Match
The Mark Henry stuff was ridiculous. They literally had him turn and join New Day, for the sole purpose of turning on New Day. I thought he was in there to be the one to go through the Table- because, ya know, New Day are the Tag Team Champions who'd lost clean last week. The match wasn't much- especially for a Tables match, but I suppose it was more a way to have The Dudleys out there so what happened after made sense.

I'm happy The Dudleys have turned, but I'm going to wait and see what happens next week- and who they go after before I pass full judgement on the turn. If they have The Dudleys and The Usos feuding, freeing up New Day to wrestle someone else, likely Golden Truth I'm all for it. Because, I'm fucking bored of New Day wrestling The Dudleys & The Usos. I legitimately don't think they've wrestled a team other than The Dudleys or The Usos since when they won the Titles back at Summerslam apart from The Primetime Players once. Plus, I want weird New Day/Golden Truth segments.

Daniel Bryan Retires
I suppose we'll start off with the actual segment. I think it goes without saying that I absolutely fucking loved it, as did pretty much everyone else. I did have the idea that this was a work in the back of my mind, but I approached the segment with a "It's not a work until it's proven otherwise" type attitude. Because, as it clearly turned out- I wanted to sit back and enjoy Daniel Bryan's retirement speech if it was legitimate.

The whole segment was just next level great. I saw Meltzer say that this segment had overtaken the Ric Flair Retirement in-terms of the best ever segment, and while I disagree in that respect that's not exactly a criticism of the segment. This segment was just magical, right from the moment Bryan's music hit to the moment they went off the air. I could go into the different parts of the Promo, talking about how "X" part was particularly great- but there's not really much point to be honest. Suffice to say, this segment truly was magical, and for that I'm sure we're all grateful.

Segment aside, I suppose the attention now turns to the "bigger picture"- or more simply put the cause of Daniel Bryan's retirement. I think we've all, deep-down known that Bryan's retirement was something that was going to happen sooner rather than later. Concussions just aren't something that can be "messed" with in modern climate. From what I've read, the latest set of tests Bryan got done that he referenced in the Promo "scared" him in regard to the damage he'd done to his brain. The thing with Concussions and the Brain is you can't put it in a Cast and do rehab on it for a few months. I do think it's quite funny that Bryan's Concussion related Retirement has coincided with the release of the Will Smith Concussion Film (over in the UK).

When Bryan was put out again after he'd just won the IC Title, I thought he was having neck problems- as opposed to concussion. However, what I said in my Extreme Rules (2015) Predictions in regard to Bryan is still just as relevant

"I love Daniel Bryan, in terms of an organic story his ranks right up there not just in terms of Today's WWE" in all-time. Yes, I would love to see him wrestle not just tonight- but for years to come; however Bryan Danielson owes us nothing, similar to Edge if he has to stop wrestling to prevent potential paralysis or other serious life-long disability he should stop right now, and he can look back on his career as a success."

I can't find the specific tweets, but I've also sent out numerous tweets saying how perhaps Daniel Bryan needed someone to tell him he's done, as they did with Edge to prevent something bad happening. The fact is, while Daniel Bryan had so much more to give in-terms of matches and feuds- his career is one of the biggest success stories in WWE History in my opinion. While Bryan only had the two WWE Titles, one of which being the 5 Minute run at Summerslam- his rise to winning the WWE Title at Wrestlemania 30 is truly one of the best stories ever in my opinion. In a way, I wish Bryan would have had to retire with his Neck problems so he'd have retired as WWE Champion. It would really have been the perfect way to go out, rather than being the in the "IC Title Hot Potato" story for Wrestlemania 31.

However, everything about Daniel Bryan is "once in a lifetime". Bryan really is a once in a lifetime person and character. Everything about him is atypical, and as I brought up last night- the fact there's no "this guy is/was a dick" stories about someone in the Wrestling Business says it all for Bryan as a person. From a selfish standpoint I'd have loved to see Bryan wrestle for years to come, and get in the ring on the WWE stage with people like Styles, Joe, Zayn, Owens and Nakamura. As well as giving us the big Wrestlemania match we all want in Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus.

To borrow from RVD, Daniel Bryan really is "one of a kind" and the fact I'd estimate 95% of people have witnessed the Evolution of Daniel Bryan from NXT through to his Wrestlemania 30 Win with a number of amazing stops along the way. Everything from his feuds with The Miz and Cole (who doesn't get nearly enough credit in the story of Daniel Bryan), to his "Abusive Boyfriend" character with AJ, to The Bellas betting on taking Bryan's virginity, to the Anger Management segments and so much more. I suppose that's the thing, Daniel Bryan could have been so. much. more. However, what we've got hasn't exactly been underwhelming- and for that we're all grateful.

Thanks to you lot for reading as always, as I said last week I'm aiming for these to become a regular thing again. With last night, we saw the likely close of the Daniel Bryan book- and I'm sure I'm not the only one who'll be looking at some of his greatest moments on YouTube over the next few days. Wrestling is one of the weirdest fucking things on the planet. But, it never has an end- and starting next week we're going to be properly moving on from Daniel Bryan and 6 Months from now he won't even be relevant in any current Wrestling discussion. But, I think the phrase "gone but never forgotten" is appropriate. Because Daniel Bryan can never, ever be forgotten.

Tuesday 2 February 2016

RAW Review: 1st February

Hello! FINALLY! I'VE COME BACK. TO SOCCERBALLANDWRASSSSSSLIN. I realise that's a week too late, but it still works. It's definitely been an interesting week and a bit since my Royal Rumble Predictions, and crucially most of it's been really good stuff when it comes to the WWE on the first parts of the Road to Wrestlemania. I can't say this with 100% certainty, but I'd like to think these Reviews are going to be fully back now. It's been a bad couple of months for me, but I'm definitely having more good days than bad again- and frankly I'm worried about you lot having withdrawal symptoms.

I'm annoyed I didn't get to Review last weeks RAW, because it was fucking amazing. Instead, I've come back to Review one of the most schizophrenic RAW's arguably ever. There was some stuff I absolutely loved on this show, and then also some stuff where I just completely zoned out. Anyway, let's get Reviewin'.

Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman & Dean Ambrose Promo 
This was great. I don't know if my standards for Opening Segments have dropped ridiculously low at this point after the last two and a half years of The Authority- but I've really liked the last few we had. Paul Heyman is, well Paul Heyman. I genuinely think Heyman could cut a Promo on anything and anyone and it would get over. I'll talk about someone else later in that regard as well, but Heyman is just a once in a lifetime person. The only thing I want the WWE to do now, is to have Brock & Heyman be on the opposite side to as many people as possible. We had Ambrose last night, and he definitely upped his game. I really blow hot and cold with Ambrose, especially when it comes to some of the shit he does in-ring. However, nobody could have been cold on Ambrose after his Promo segment. I've seen some people say how Ambrose doing the Promo instead of Roman is a good sign for Fast Lane. THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK. Y'ALL A BUNCH OF PUPPETS. If you even have a fleeting idea that Ambrose could win at Fast Lane, the WWE has done their job for this build- but it's simply not going to happen.

Kalisto v Rusev
In my Royal Rumble Predictions I said provided Kalisto won at the Rumble his first Title win made sense. This was because Kalisto's Title win then couldn't be written off as a "fluke". What do you know, they were putting that over on Commentary. I honestly won't be surprised if Kalisto ends up losing the Title again Fast Lane, if as there's been some speculation about they're angling for a "Mask Match" at Mania between the two. It makes more sense for Del Rio to have the Title for that potential match.

I actually liked this match quite a lot. It was US v TV Champion, and as such both had to be quite protected. They pretty much did as good a job as possible with the match. They managed to put Kalisto's "underdog" gimmick over, while giving him a win as well as protecting Rusev.

Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose & Stephanie McMahon Backstage Promo
This was fine for what it was. Treating this as a two part segment, with the second being the Brock/Triple H one- it made sense for Stephanie to do this half. It was all pretty standard stuff, but Stephanie trying to drive a wedge between Ambrose and Reigns was a nice touch. BECAUSE AMBROSE IS FUCKING TURNING.

Brie Bella Backstage Promo
Brie Bella's whole gimmick is "Someone related to me fucked their Neck up". This time next year it'll be that JJ bloke from Total Divas in a Neck Brace.

The Grammy Award Winning Usos v Adam Rose & Curtis Axel
There's been a ridiculous number of "Announcer Botches" over the years. Lillian Garcia calling The Usos Grammy Award Winners might have been my favourite. Not just for the botch, however hilarious that was in its own right. THEY FUCKING SHAMED LILLIAN FOR IT ON LIVE TV! It wasn't some loud words in a headset to Lillian. THEY REPEATEDLY SHOWED IT, AND THEN BROUGHT IT UP ON COMMENTARY MULTIPLE TIMES. I did end up feeling a bit bad for Lillian, but I was also laughing hysterically while doing so.

I honestly don't know anything that happened in the match because I was laughing too much. What I will say is I loved the finish, for the sole reason that it looked like Axel was actually going for something when jumped off the Top Rope and took a Superkick.

MizTV w/ AJ Styles
THIS SEGMENT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. I love AJ Styles, and this is my first Review since AJ's debut. I've been watching AJ Styles for absolutely ages, and he's without a doubt one of- if not the best Wrestler in the World at present. To say AJ needs to work on his Mic skills is an understatement. Dixie is nowhere near as compelling a character as Vince, but I put a lot of TNA's failure at doing the "Summer of Punk" angle at AJ's door because of his Mic work.

The Miz on the other hand is just so fucking amazing when it comes to Promos, and the fact he's not spoken of as one of the best on the Mic regularly is a crime. So what do they do last night? They have The Miz pretty much tell AJ's full story to the "casual" crowd, and fucking hell were the crowd last night "casual". So, this segment, pretty much told us AJ's entire history, while putting heat on The Miz- so when AJ did eventually lay into him the crowd loved it. This segment was just complete genius, and I won't hear a bad word against it.

Brie Bella v Charlotte
This segment was when it all started to go massively downhill. I wish Nikki Bella the best, I genuinely do. However, the fact it appears Brie might end up in the Title picture- basically because Nikki has a fucked up Neck is infuriating to me. I wouldn't have even minded Paige getting another Title match as a "bridge" to whatever they have planned for Mania, but I just can't take Brie Bella seriously as a Title contender when last night was probably her first win in 2016. Can Bryan just put a Baby in Brie to save us all.

Big Show v Erick Rowan
With Bray (understandably) not at TV, this segment was pretty much as uninteresting and generally bad as it conceivably could. The only thing that could have made it worse is if the match had ended in a DQ. It was Big Show v Erick Rowan, I think that says it all really.

The after-match beatdown of Show was necessary I suppose, but it was about as good at holding my attention as the match was.

Titus O'Neil v Tyler Breeze
THIS WAS WAS THE SECOND HOUR FOLKS. BRIE BELLA BEATING CHARLOTTE, THE BIG SHOW V ERICK ROWAN AND TITUS O'NEIL V TYLER BREEZE. This match wasn't "bad", but at the same time- it wasn't exactly a Match of the Year contender.

Brock Lesnar & Triple H Backstage Promo
I actually liked this segment. Say what you want about Triple H, but he does know how to put himself across to fit different angles. This segment was pretty standard in content, but the way both Triple H and Brock delivered said content made it good.

Dolph Ziggler v Kevin Owens
As soon as Owens did his whole "I'm on a beating Ziggler streak" thing on Twitter, we all knew Dolph was winning tonight. With that said, and given the fact we have had 9 Owens/Ziggler matches now- it was an alright match. It's by no means the best Owens/Ziggler match, but at the same time any Owens/Ziggler match is going to reach a certain standard. I do think this match suffered from what had preceded it, as well as the generally awful crowd.

Sasha Banks v Becky Lynch
The reason it's a pretty safe bet that Brie's got a Title match at Fast Lane is because of this match and what it ended up being. The actual Sasha/Becky match didn't really get going, understandably so. I think we've got a guaranteed Pre-Show match with Sasha & Becky v Tamina & Naomi. The angle was actually pretty good, and I hope they can play up the Sasha/Becky history from NXT. This match as a "bridge" for Sasha and Becky into the Mania build is an easy way to put both over, I suppose. I can already see Sasha & Becky simultaneously making Naomi & Tamina tap in a few weeks time.

Chris Jericho Backstage Promo
The Jericho/AJ stuff is interesting, in that Jericho really is the perfect person to put AJ over on arrival. That combined with the fact Jericho will inevitably end up playing the Heel opposite AJ makes me quite optimistic for the feud, should they fully pull the trigger on it- as it seems they're on the brink of doing.

Goldust & R-Truth's wacky antics
I actually like the potential "Golden Truth" team. Both guys have really good comedic timing, and depending on how far, and how quickly they're pushed they could make really good opponents for The New Day. That'll be a feud and a half.

The Rock's Cousin & The Rock's Cousin's Friend v The New Day
I enjoyed the match, but can we please talk about The New Day's Promo. I've freely admitted New Day have gone slightly downhill as of late. However, these last two RAW's have put New Day right back up as the best thing going in the WWE- including AJ Styles. New Day's Promo was just absolutely amazing. Everything from the Amber Rose stuff with Kofi wagging his finger around to Kofi threatening to beat up an 8 Year Old to them bringing up fucked up Fanfiction. It was all just amazing. It appears as though The Rock bestowed upon them a mission to single-handedly end the PG era by force.

The match was pretty good as well. The only criticism I can have of it is, for the love of god can Big E stop taking stupid bumps! Big E is only 29, if he takes care of himself and carries on his current trajectory he can be a genuine Main Eventer for a number of years. That won't be possible if he fucking kills himself by doing the Middle Rope Spear and literally bouncing of the edge of the Ring Apron in a "missed Splash" spot.

I was a bit annoyed New Day lost clean, especially because they've usually handled them quite well in these situations such as when they faced Orton & Reigns and Orton & Ambrose. However, I do acknowledge in comparison to the Fast Lane Main Event they don't take priority.

The stuff with Brock after I loved- however poorly it was shot, in-terms of what it meant going forward. Reigns was fucking around with Kofi, and then Ambrose is left in the ring with Brock Lesnar- after taking most of the punishment in the match. I do genuinely believe this is all building to Ambrose turning on Roman after he beats Triple H at Mania. Ambrose must be getting sick of taking all of the beatings while Roman takes all of the glory at this point- especially if Ambrose loses the IC Title before said Mania Main Event.

Last Night's RAW was just so weird. On the one hand we had absolutely amazing moments, and then we had things like Erick Rowan vs The Big Show. I suppose on three hour RAW's you always have to take the good with the bad, and last night was just an extreme example of that.

Thanks to you lot for reading as always, as I said at the start I'm trying to get these back to a regular thing now. Especially heading into Mania season, I think you all need more right opinions in your life. Thanks again for reading, I hope you have a good week- and if I were you I'd chuck all of your moneys on Miz beating AJ on Smackdown. All of them.