31. Brie Bella
She seems nice enough on Total Divas, and I'm sure she's lovely; but her theme music is the spawn of satan, and I'm pretty it sure violated me when I was a small child. Now add on to the fact her and her sister seem intent on tormenting me, with me ending up with a Bella Twins shirt when I wanted a Bayley one confirms Brie does in fact hate me- so in turn I shall hate her.
30. Darren Young
Ermahgerd he's put the gay guy on the list- he's clearly a homophobic prick. No, before Young came out- in what was clearly a choreographed TMZ interview he was nothing in this business; and was on the "soon to be future endeavored", now he's become Teflon- because if he gets released everyone's going to say WWE is homophobic- when in reality he simply isn't that good. I like the Primetime Players- but Titus is head and shoulders above Darren, you only have to look at the now infamous time the PTP did commentary with Titus and Cole ripping Young for essentially having no personality while Titus gave us one of the best guest commentator segments ever to see the point I'm making.
29. New Jack
He's arguably the worst human being to ever grace a wrestling ring. The reason he isn't higher is basically because some of the shoots he's done have trod the fine line between hilarity and lunacy perfectly; and has entertained me to no end. That said, I'm guessing the majority of guys reading these blogs know all the stories- or rather legends attached to New Jack; and no I'm not talking about the Mass Transit thing to know the kind of guy New Jack is.
28. The Great Khali
I've decided to explain my reasoning for Khali in the manner of his promos;
BWAYUGYVFUUTFYVKYFUA.
I think the most comical thing about Khali's career is that he's opening a wrestling school- the man who can't move is going to open a wrestling school.
27. Nathan Jones
This is more annoying than anything else, the vignettes they produced in the build to his debut were quality- unfortunately once the man stepped outside of the Pre-Taped vignettes he was horrible- absolutely horrible; making him one of the biggest anti-climaxes in Wrestling; because it was clear they wanted him to succeed because they paired him with Taker briefly.
26. Sin Cara (Mistico)
I'd seen some of Mistico's work prior to coming to WWE and it was stellar- for the surroundings he was in. I think Sin Cara pretty much falling flat on his face- almost literally on his debut when he messed up the trampoline jump has made every "established" guy that has come in since go down to NXT; which I suppose is a good thing because we a have a great Wrestling Product now- but Mistico was just awful once he joined WWE, it was clear they wanted him to become the next Mysterio but Mysterio had adapted to the audience he was performing in front of- and to the guys he was was working which Mistico refused to do pretty much; and his WWE career can be summed up by him stopping a match because he dislocated one of his fingers, while that is undoubtedly painful; c'mon really? When you consider some of the injuries people have wrestled through, you stopped the match because of a finger.
25. Manu
The Anoa'i even the Anoa'i's want to forget. He was just bad- and it made it worse that you knew if he wasn't an Anoa'i he wouldn't even have been near developmental let alone in an angle with among others Randy Orton arguably at his peak.
24. Kurrgan
Remember Kurrgan, Remember when he was a thing.
23. Giant Gonzalez
They pretty much saw he was 7ft+ and went, Great- we'll sign you up. The reason Gonzalez is higher than Khali is because while Khali did have a WHC Run- he wasn't arguably the biggest black mark on Undertaker's 21 at Wrestlemania as the only DQ Finish. A Guy who could barely walk in an airbrushed onesie was the black mark.
22. Big Show
Speaking of Undertaker's streak... See what I've done here- I've segued into another guy who was involved in Undertaker's streak- while also previously mentioning Nathan Jones who was involved in the match with Big Show & A-Train when they faced Taker at Mania. SCIENCE! Its not that I don't respect Big Show- because I do, but he turns every 2 seconds- and it annoys the hell out of me. That coupled with the fact he shouldn't be anywhere near the Main Event segments by this stage of his career.
21. Fandango
I've come to hate this gimmick just because the guy "under the mask" so to speak is capable of so much more.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R8MFD8dszI&t=14
It was me and about 7 other people who actually watched NXT Redemption- and I'm pretty sure 4 of that 7 had mental health issues, but those who did watch it saw Johnny Curtis was pretty much the best ever. Him chloroforming Matt Striker will never, ever be forgotten by me- and his Lets Get Weird catchphrase was oddly hilarious, it was a quirky gimmick that I actually liked. But then they repackaged him as Fandangoo- and then Fandango; and even then he somehow managed to get somewhat over- with the peak being the Night after Wrestlemania 29, but then through a combination of concussions and bad booking he's off the radar again- and his repackaged gimmick lasted about a week before it was forgotten about.
20. Michael Cole
He's had multiple PPV matches, so I'm counting him for this list. Well- he's horrible, atrocious- insert negative here. That said, the reason I'm not having him higher is because he's not a wrestler, and he was in all honesty a quality heel.
19. Nikki Bella
She has improved I'll give her that, but she's still pretty bad- and her feud with Brie was the lowest ebb of a really low year in 2014. That combined with the fact she's so materialistic and vain on Total Divas- she's the Total Diva equivalent of Sex and the City 2, so now I'll hand it over to Mark Kermode to explain how I feel about Sex and the City 2.
18. John Cena
In 2001: A Space Odyssey Stanley Kubrick went from the birth of mankind to the birth of a new species in under 3 Hours. In roughly 10 Years John Cena has gone from a superman-esque babyface who'll overcome any odds- to a superman-esque babyface who'll overcome any odds; but is now ridiculously stale. I'm not bandwagoning by having Cena on this list- I do respect the hell out of Cena- and thats why he isn't in my Top 10; and he will put on at least one match of the year contender a year- which he's arguably already done being 1/3 of the WWE Title Match at the Rumble. But his character is just beyond stale- and while I doubt he'll turn heel like Hulk Hogan did with the nWo it is needed
17. Hulk Hogan
Speaking of the Hulkster, and yes I realise he's on my favourite list as well- but its my list so...
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While Hogan is without a doubt a legend of the business, he's also one of the worst politickers in wrestling history which I spoke about when it came to the Yokozuna stuff in my Mania Anti-Climaxes blog- he also has hung on way too long, people will argue the nWo killed WCW, but Hogan's exorbitant wages- along with creative control basically meant he could earn a lot for doing a little- and boy did he do that.
16. Big E Langston
I honestly have no idea why I have such a distaste for Big E, perhaps its because he wasn't brought up with his "5" gimmick- but I can't pinpoint it- I just don't like him *inb4 lul ur racist*.
15. Hornswoggle
Its not so much I hate the guy, I just really hate how they use him. We get it, he's a midget- do you really have to illustrate that point by putting him in "Wee-LC" matches among other things; although I did end up liking that match because of the work McIntyre, Mahal & the Matadores did. That combined with the fact they use him as the payoff for angles they either had to change at the last minute- or didn't have an end to;see illegitimate son and Anonymous GM.
14. X-Pac
There's a reason "X-Pac heat" is a thing. The reason he isn't higher is because of the hilarious injury he got not so long ago when we went for the Bronco Buster on an Indy Show.
13. Christian
I don't like his face, they should have covered it with a blue dot or something.
12. Ric Flair
Once again its my list- so deal with it. As with Hogan he hung on way, way too long- but I rank Flair higher than Hogan because while Hogan isn't exactly a saint- Flair f'd his life up so much, and he had the perfect- and by perfect I mean perfect "last moment" at Wrestlemania which I ranked as my favourite Mania moment.
11. Eva Marie
She's just awful, the reason I don't have her higher is that I don't necessarily blame her for it- because at the end of the day a woman in her position wouldn't turn down the exposure she got as a result of being on Total Divas, if she had a shred of athleticism about her that'd be a bonus.
10. Eugene
I respect the hell out of Nick Dinsmore, don't get me wrong- but "Eugene" was just in bad taste in my opinion- I didn't even really mind him until he became "Super Eugene" and beyond. The special needs gimmick just left a bad taste in my mouth- especially when Vince, The Spirit Squad etc. started to gang up on him- with DX using him as a foil for their escapades.
9. Mordecai
Mordecai was a weird one, it was clear they were trying to set him up as the antithesis of the Undertaker- but it just never took off, and he only lasted probably around 3 Months before they scrapped the gimmick because Kevin Thorn wasn't ready- and was plain bad.
8. Goldberg
This is an interesting one, because he could be on some peoples favourites list. But in my opinion Goldberg is one of, if not the over-hyped wrestler of all time in my opinion. I don't doubt the fact he was mega-over, and while the way his streak ended to Nash was awful- you can tell Goldberg couldn't separate himself from his character, and he kayfabed real life. Then you get into his lack of respect for the business- which would be alright in my book- well not alright, but you know what I mean when it comes to people like Lesnar who have arguably became a bigger name outside of the WWE and the come back; but Goldberg simply hasn't- so his lack of respect for the business stings a lot more.
7. Kelly Kelly
I don't necessarily have anything against Barbie Blank- but Kelly Kelly, and the type of run she got summed up everything wrong with the Divas division. Especially with the whole #GiveDivasAChance thing thats happened recently trying to seemingly legitimise the Womens Division again- and with the utmost respect Kelly Kelly was the absolute antithesis of Womens Wrestling. While she did improve- the fact she came in doing Extreme Expose says a lot, and if I remember rightly when her and Alicia Fox were signed they were banned from having "carnal relations" with anyone also down in I think OVW.
6. Sid
The only thing I properly remember from Sid's career was him suffering possibly the worst, and most graphic injury in wrestling history to be broadcast on TV when he basically snapped his leg in half on an episode of Nitro; then when you factor in the fact he really wasn't all that when it comes to the in-ring side of things, it makes Sid worthy of a spot on this list in my opinion
5. JBL
Forget his asinine commentary, forget his horrendous run when he was clearly overweight by quite a long way in the late 2000s- JBL is one of the biggest bullies in wrestling history. While there isn't exactly confirmation on some of the stories that have come out about him- its no secret JBL would work new guys ridiculously stiff to "break them in", and then you get to the borderline sexual assault stories he's done with some guys- this makes JBL one of my most hated guys on the list.
4. Cameron
In my opinion she's the worst Diva we've ever had, ever- and that is saying something. No matter whether its in the WWE Universe or Total Divas she is the most annoying, and vacuous character I think I've ever seen. The refreshed Tough Enough was a trainwreck from start to finish without a doubt- and she was eliminated first. Yet somehow she was signed off the back of it- and then she was called up way too soon to be one of Brodus Clay's valets. Then one thing led to another and she's ended up becoming an in-ring talent, without the talent part.
3. Kevin Nash
Is this really a surprise to anyone? While some of the stuff he says does make a lot of sense- a lot of it is complete rubbish, and its not exactly a secret he was one of the biggest backstage politicians of all time. As I've said with Hogan- the nWo people would argue killed WCW, and while I fundamentally disagree with that, it is undisputed Nash put himself to forefront a lot of the time in WCW, especially when he was somehow put in charge of the book. Then you get on to all of the Vanilla Midget stuff and almost everything else related to Nash which makes him worthy of a place on the list.
2. Bill DeMott
I never liked DeMott before you start thinking its only because of the recent revelations about him that's made him number 2 on this list- although he probably would be further down had they not come out. That said- and its surprised me people haven't made more of it, the recent bullying accusations aren't exactly the first- and in the past we had that "forcing to train naked" story around a year and a half ago. That combined with the fact he's clearly stuck on his high-horse, and the stuff he's supposedly said to Joey Ryan about training Daniel Bryan is ludicrous- while I don't think every WWE Champion would make a great trainer, an average worker who's claim to fame was being the first guy to lose in Goldberg's streak isn't trainer material- and thankfully that's been proven.
1. Vince McMahon
This perhaps isn't a surprise, and while I do respect Vince for putting his money where his mouth is so to speak- the fact is at times he's used WWE as a vehicle for self-reassurance. Whether it was having every Diva throw themselves at him- to being WWE Champion, that combined with some of the downright bad matches he's had make him worthy of the #1 Spot on the list. I'm not even putting him in #1 because of how he's the boss and the WWE is in atrocious shape from a product perspective at the minute.
Thanks for reading as ever, we're headed to the business end of this Mania Week- with the blogs still coming thick and fast. If you haven't already feel free to look back at any of the Blogs I've done this week- and hopefully you see a few that catches your eye.
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