IT'S OVER! I can't believe it's finally over. These 10 weeks have just been completely awful, it's without a doubt been the worst incarnation of Tough Enough- that isn't even in doubt. It's also down there in terms of just all time bad programming produced by WWE. I'd honestly have rather watch all 4 of the Marine films than re-watch this series of Tough Enough, it really was that bad.
As with the other two incarnation's of these posts I think it's only fair I re-re-breakdown the characters being portrayed on the show.
Sara Lee- Vanellope from Wreck-It Ralph
Josh- A Yeti with shit gear
Amanda- Slut Shamer and a Complete Bitch
ZZ- FAT ASS, Also the arch-nemesis of the RSPCA after his gimmick last night
Tanner- Can't sell anything with his face, May or may not still be a Virgin
Giorgia- Athletic One- but a bitch
Chelsea- Wrestler
Mada- The guy who I thought had the most outdated idea for a gimmick until ZZ came out with an Alligator on his head. Still Yugi though. A proper "Yugi" gimmick would be cool in WWE actually. It'd be a better entrance than Josh.
Patrick- Proof that democracy doesn't work
Gabi- Clueless Brazilian who's clearly married her Husband for the Money
Daria- Lesbian MMA Girl
Dianna- #1 Bitch
Alex- Philosopher
I ACTUALLY REMEMBERED SOMETHING ABOUT HANK!
Hank- Guy who "always wins" who went out first
Right then, down to business. Winning Tough Enough means absolutely nothing. That's not my opinion- that's just a fact, so to see a load of people actually caring about who wins and especially bitching about Sara Lee winning is just hilarious. Let's break down all of the reasons why winning Tough Enough means absolutely nothing.
The Contract. Yes, Josh and Sara Lee winning has given them a contract (more later). It's not like that means nobody else on the series can get one, in fact I think it's a pretty safe bet that at least half the people on this series will get one. This is where I found the reactions to people like Amanda and Giorgia going out hilarious. Especially in the case of Amanda, I'd happily put money on her getting a contract. All the stuff with Amanda and Miz saving her and the thing about him putting her in the Bottom Three before not doing it- ALL OF THAT WAS A WORK. They wanted to protect her as much as humanly possible, BECAUSE THEY SEE SOMETHING IN HER. The week Miz saved her when she was about to go out was a test for her Public Support because as I've said repeatedly someone "upstairs" sees something in her.
Again, this is not an opinion this is a FACT (I feel like Kidd)- WWE will give Contracts to everyone they saw something in during the show, and if they get 1 or 2 people who develop into something then they'll see it as a win. Sara Lee and Josh winning was just giving them a guaranteed shot at "going for it" down in the Performance Centre.
The 250k Prize, it's not like they handed Josh/Sara Lee a 250k cheque. They spread the money over 10 Billion Payments across 50 Years- AND it's not actually 250k. Without knowing, I'd say at least 65-70k of it is their actual contract which obviously won't all be paid up-front and they'll get taxed on it. Even in the hypothetical world where it was 250k, IT'S WWE! VINCE IS A BILLIONAIRE AGAIN- 250k MEANS NOTHING TO HIM.
Last Night's episode was actually quite interesting, or at least it was to me- and given the fact I was in a good mood for once from a Fulham game it might have played a part. EVERYONE was bitching about Sara Lee going into the Finale saying Amanda was clearly better in every way. Guess what fuckers, SARA LEE WAS BETTER THAN AMANDA LAST NIGHT.
I've been saying this the whole time- Sara Lee isn't as bad as she's been portrayed on the show. Her Promo (by Tough Enough standards) was quality, she got the crowd involved- although I think I could have popped the crowd in there last night and SHE SOLD THE MATCH WITH FOX. Nobody else did that last night- ZZ, Josh and Amanda all used their promo to put themselves over- and in Amanda's case weakly call out Miz. ZZ tried to do it, but I don't know if he went over his time allotted- but Cesaro's music completely cut him off which I found hilarious. Both matches were bad, I'm not saying they weren't- but the Sara Lee/Fox match was just a fundamentally better story. So if you're basing it off last night- Sara Lee actually deserved to win.
As soon as the reports of Vince loving Josh came out this whole competition was a write off on the guys side- the same can be said for Sara Lee in all honesty when the report came out they wanted her to win. Which by the way I was saying for the whole time- especially when it came to the Sara Lee/Paige stuff which I was calling an angle all along. Back to Josh, he is fine. He was by far and a way not the best guy on the show- but what Vince wants Vince gets. People may say the stuff about ZZ, but I CALLED IT. ZZ was the novelty vote that you get in every talent contest who everyone votes for when it's all fun- but when it get's down to business they NEVER win.
The Tough Talk last night pissed me off. Sara Lee had just been voted winner, fair enough if they wanted Amanda to win. BUT LET HER HAVE HER MOMENT. She'd just been voted to win a 10 week long contest and EVERYONE apart from Triple H proceeded to bury her- THAT'S SOMETHING I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SAY. That annoyed me, especially given as already said Sara Lee was better than Amanda last night. But credit to Triple H, he may well have wanted Amanda to win- but he "got it" when it comes to Sara Lee and he praised her for it. The complete burial of Sara Lee was just unnecessary last night.
The thing is, if the Coaches wanted Amanda to win- THEY SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER TO NOT BE A FUCKING IDIOT. The "Ring-Rat" stuff was absolutely hilarious- mostly because there was an audible "Fucking Hell, She said that" gasp when she called Sara Lee a ring-rat. It was her basically acknowledging she has fuck all chance of winning- which was correct because she's barely got a personality unless you count shit-stirring and paranoia AND she didn't have the connection with the crowd that Sara Lee just does. OR, she thought that slut-shaming someone live on TV would somehow make people like her.
Overall this series of Tough Enough has just been absolutely awful. When they were previewing new shows on the Network during Summerslam they showed something called "Breaking Ground" which without knowing judging from the Preview it's going to be like the Tough Enough Prequel/Network Special they did BUT WITH PEOPLE WITH CHARISMA. That might actually be my new favourite show on the Network when it comes out- especially with Swerved being cancelled (although I've got a weird feeling them cancelling it is a work so people aren't on guard).
Vince McMahon is desperate to not be seen as "just" a Promoter like his Dad was. Whether it's the XFL, the weird Bodybuilding League, WWE Films and especially Tough Enough- all of these are attempts from Vince to "branch out". All of them have failed, it's for the same reason I hated Billy Corgan coming in to TNA's Creative Team- entertainment is such a broad spectrum just because you're successful in one aspect of it doesn't mean you'll succeed in the other. It would be like Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers coming over and playing for Fulham, they're both ball sports- it doesn't mean either guy is any good at another one.
Without saying for definite, especially with how bad the ratings and just generally atrocious the show's been I don't think USA will renew it any time soon. So we're either going to be waiting another 4 years- or it's going on the Network. Either way, this series was just horrendously bad- and as of this sentence I'm drawing a line under it and we're moving on.
Thanks for reading as always, I hope you enjoyed this- and if you haven't already I'd recommend going back to read the other two Burials where I really got into it when it comes to the format, host and all the awfulness of the show. We're moving on now, and I hope you stay tuned for the Impact Review tomorrow- given my recent track record with Impact Reviews there might be another burial tomorrow. Thanks again for reading, hey- these three episodes were better than the Star Wars Prequels.
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