Hello! Two Posts in two days- I don't know what's come over me. We had Episode 1 when I determined Tough Enough was the worst show on TV and needed to be buried, and somehow it's actually gotten infinitely worse since the last one. I'll preface this all by saying I don't give a fuck about Tough Enough, any of the guys involved and pretty much everyone on the show- BUT it's one of those weird shows that are so bad they're actually good.
Given how I started the first one I only think it's fair to re-breakdown the characters that are being portrayed on the show.
Tanner- Virgin
Sara Lee- Vanellope from Wreck-It Ralph midway through the "Learning to Race" montage, Alternatively AJ Styles and/or Owen Hart.
Amanda- Slut
Giorgia- Paranoid Bitch
ZZ- FAT ASS
Josh- He still thinks he's a Yeti
Chelsea- Wrestler
Mada- Yugi Moto
Patrick- Proof that Democracy doesn't work
Gabi- Clueless Brazilian who's clearly married her Husband for the Money
Daria- Lesbian MMA Girl
Dianna- #1 Bitch
Alex- Philosopher
Hank- I can't remember anything about this bloke
That's character development right there.
I also think it's now fair to break down the characters the judges are playing.
Daniel Bryan- Daniel Bryan who's losing the will to live
Paige- Simon Cowell
<Redacted>
Miz- The Miz
A lot's happened since the first burial, and none of it good. You can definitely make the argument that the best three people in the competition have gone out in consecutive weeks, but the thing is the only reason they're gone is because Vince allowed it to happen. The prime example is Amanda, I don't know if it's Vince, Dunn or someone else "upstairs" but they've clearly taken a liking to her for whatever reason. Last Week was a test when it comes to Amanda's public support and when it became obvious she was going out they had Miz save her- both for the reasons of keeping her in, but also to get people talking.
The massive issue with Tough Enough is simply the fact it doesn't know what it wants to be. I was expecting/wanting something in the style of the Network Special headed into the show where it'd be gritty and actually feel like the contestants are going through hell to get a Contract. Instead we've ended up with some weird mix between that, Total Divas and X Factor (sub in any show which has a judging panel and is voted on for by the public). Not only that, it's a bad version of all three- so when all three are combined it's a hilarious awful show, with no identity.
I'll give you the PERFECT example, the bullshit Tanner & Chelsea love angle. Tanner's wound up getting the Daniel Bryan character when The Bellas were betting on who could get his virginity first, yes that happened- and I'll never forget it. All of the segments with them were awkward as fuck (which I think was the point) and they had literally no chemistry with each other, in short- it's the Tough Enough version of Dolph and Lana. Now Chelsea's gone I'd bet money on Tanner being all depressed in the confessions booth thing they all narrate the episode in saying how he'll miss Chelsea etc. and then he'll be "off his game" in the training aspect and possibly end up in the Bottom Three next week where he might end up going out if they put ZZ and Sara Lee next to him.
I was convinced they wanted to get rid of Sara Lee last night they edited it to make her seem like a dangerous in-ring worker (which she may well be) by having Giorgia go off on one about how Sara Lee nearly paralysed her by giving her a Body Slam onto her Shoulder when she didn't even tuck her chin. I've never taken a "bump" in my life and even I know you have to do that. Sara Lee's a weird one, I said both on Twitter and in my first one of these that after the pay-off to the Paige/Sara Lee angle she'd miraculously be a much better contestant, shockingly she was. Then they edited it this week really weirdly and pretty much put Sara Lee in the Bottom Three for not saying sorry for giving a dodgy Body Slam where Giorgia took a bad bump. I think the Sara Lee stuff in the Bottom Three was solely to gauge if she still has public support to the level she had in the Paige/Sara Lee stuff, and she has so job done on that front.
It's hilarious to me, you know the trainers absolutely hate and I mean HATE ZZ, the Judges are getting pissed off with him pretty consistently now- so by that logic you'd think they'd want him out. I don't know if Vince and/or Dunn are idiots, but the fact they "book" ZZ to be a loveable southern guy who's getting shit on by everyone which in turn makes him the Underdog is just beyond stupid. Although the fact they gave ZZ a challenge yesterday which they pretty much knew he'd excel in either means he's going to be the "star student" next week, or they'll make it out like he's gone backwards between now and next Tuesday in an attempt to get him voted off- either way it won't work. I thought they'd get ZZ in the Bottom Three and do a double save one week to get him off, but now that's completely out the window so fuck knows how they're getting rid of him now.
I love Miz on this show. He just "gets" Reality TV, firstly if anyone actually believe Miz was the one made the decision to save Amanda I pity you, I truly do. That said Miz was the perfect one to do all the shit with Amanda because he knew exactly how to sell to get the maximum reaction from it. That combined with the fact it's clear Miz just doesn't give a fuck about anyone in the competition now just makes generally great TV. The judges in general don't give a fuck, Bryan's tweet yesterday about reading a book about the meaning of life made me laugh- he's actually losing the will to live on the show and it's just hilarious. I don't get the Paige hate off the back of this show, I just don't. Vince has finally reached the early 2000s for his pop culture references, you've got Sheamus doing the Gladiator shit and Vince has seen Simon Cowell and thought a British Heel Judge was the best thing going. Just compare her on this shit to the Austin Podcast the other night when she came over as a reasonably likeable, albeit nervous person- that's the difference between Tough Enough and Reality when it comes to Paige and it amazes me people are actually getting worked by the Paige stuff or really any of the stuff the judges do.
The only genuine thing from the judges are when Miz calls ZZ out because he sees ZZ "slacking" in the same opportunity that Miz had to take with both hands and cling onto for dear life.I also believe that Daniel Bryan does in fact want us to buy his book, that's pretty much it. Actually that's not fair, most of the stuff Bryan says I do believe- but that's just because he's over all of the Reality Show bullshit.
Then we get onto one of the huge issues I've got with the show. I can deal with all the bullshit challenges because they are slightly less bullshit than some of the earlier ones. The format is still a complete mess and they're changing it week-to-week as proof of that fact, but the one thing I can't get my head around is the fucking Hosting situation. Nobody could have called what'd happen with Hogan before it all came out, that said when it comes to Tough Enough aside from Mada having no hope of winning without him there there was no huge impact. That said when it all happened from a Tough Enough perspective I thought it'd be obvious what they should do. Shift Jericho over to the Judging Panel and have Renee Young host while keeping Miz on Tough Talk seeing as he was just great on it. I don't know why they've got Renee Young there, she literally has no purpose and it's just a waste of her as an on-screen talent. If there was one thing that's still annoying me about this awful show is that. Tough Enough was always awful, but I'd genuinely look forward to Tough Talk- now Saxton's hosting it doesn't even have that going for it. They actually have to wreck everything good about shows don't they?
I was tempted to make an Attack of the Clones reference but I thought I'd leave it- all of the girls other than Sara Lee are just so generic now Chelsea's gone. It seems as though they're actively trying to get rid of anyone who actually wants to be a Wrestler like Patrick, Chelsea seemingly Mada all in favour of the most generic people possible who I suppose they think they can "mould".
The whole show is completely flawed, it's not about who's Tough Enough both in terms of it being a popularity contest with the General Public AND with the office and all of that's just made a generally horrible show.
Thanks for reading as always, of course there'll be no Impact Review because of a combination of my boycott and it being my Birthday so these Wrestling posts won't be back until the RAW Review. If you haven't already check out the RAW Review yesterday and all that good stuff, I might end up doing an Episode 3 in this series of burials once this show's finally so keep an eye out for that one in the future and thanks again for reading, I always assume that my two audiences are completely different- so I hope you have a good week and come back here next week Fresh as a Daisy.
Oh Yeah Cena's on next week, Unless he goes full Patches O'Hoolahan and starts chucking tools at ZZ "If you can dodge a Wrench, You can dodge a Knee Strike" I'm not interested.
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