That's right. I'm back for more. After last weeks debacle my expectations for this show were pretty much rock bottom- so all they had to do was not do something monumentally stupid and I'd have been happy. This is Impact guys, I think we know the answer to that.
The Hardys & EC3 Opening Promo
EC3 is in fact very good. I won't say this segment was great, it wasn't- but it did the job it needed to do and it was simple and effective. I was beyond caring months ago when it came to Spoilers, so if you want to avoid them this is your warning. The stuff with EC3 and Jeff as his PA looks pretty fucking stupid, it seems as though Jeff's still in TNA basically to make himself laugh between Willow and some of the stuff he did with EC3 at the Tapings. But, I'm willing to give them some leeway because I vastly underestimated how good the Hardy/EC3 stuff would be heading into Full Metal Mayhem match.
Eric Young v Chris Melendez
This fucking feud. I hate this feud. It's just tasteless. I was genuinely trying to work out where this angle ranks in terms of tasteless TNA moments, and for me it falls on about the same level as Pacman Jones "making it rain". With it leaning slightly towards a bit less than the Pacman thing, solely because Melendez is still alive. The match was quite iffy, Melendez isn't a good worker yet- so fuck knows what the Rematch is going to be like when he's wrestling on one leg.
This is what really annoyed me. I don't know who was running the TNA Twitter account last night, but whoever it was should be sacked on the spot. With this horrific angle, with a man losing his leg- the guy/girl running the account decided it was a perfect time TO MAKE A PUN. It was something along the lines of "Hey Melendez, leg-go", not just are they making fun of the guy losing his leg- even within the angle HE'S THE FUCKING BABYFACE. WHY ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF HIM FOR LOSING HIS FUCKING LEG TO A DASTARDLY HEEL?! I hate this company.
Tigre Uno v DJ Z v Sonjay Dutt
Whoever writes the recaps for these things on WrestlingINC is a fucking idiot. They're being paid to write this shit and they've billed Zema as "DGZ". I know where they say who's wrote them now- Sharon Glencross, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL JOURNALISM.
This match was really fun, I don't know how many times I've said it now- Zema would be quality down in NXT with a "clean slate". With his ability and charisma he WOULD have been Aries level in the Company were it not for the Jesse Sorensen incident. Overall this match was good, I'm not that high on Tigre Uno at the moment because of the Trump stuff which just soured me to everyone involved even though he clearly didn't give a fuck about it.
James Storm Backstage Promo
This was a bit weird, but in general it was fine. I've got no clue how The Revolution earned the Tag Title shot, maybe that weird dance thing that Shera got Manik to do last week made them worthy.
The Wolves v The Revolution
This match was really good. The Wolves in terms of pure Wrestling are the best team going at the minute, factor in Manik and you're almost guaranteed to have a really fun match. This segment again, simple! You have the match, the "main" Heel comes out to give the other Heels an advantage and the Babyface who's feuding with the Heel evens the odds. No bullshit dancing.
Jeff & Matt make their Decision
I'd rather this closed the show in all honesty, but it didn't. It set-up the angle for next week and it was all fine. You know why? IT WAS SIMPLE.
Velvet Sky v Brooke
So the Babyfaces BROKE A CRYING, HANDCUFFED WOMAN'S FINGER LAST WEEK IN A 2-on-1 ATTACK. What Bitches. This match was, well a Velvet Sky v Brooke match. Not only was it a Velvet Sky v Brooke match- they didn't even get many big spots in because they had a fucked finish.
The Rebel stuff is just stupid. I'm happy to be proven wrong, but NOTHING I've seen from Rebel suggests to me that she belongs in a Wrestling Ring. I'm not 100% sure which one of my Reviews it was, but in one of them I was convinced Rebel was getting written off TV and being future endeavoured because of how insignificant she was. The best and most hilarious bit, the crowd either saw it coming- which everyone did, forgot who Rebel was or simply couldn't give a fuck because wow was it quiet.
So this is basically just stupid. They've brought Rebel in seemingly solely to reunite the Beautiful People AGAIN. This goes back to my theory with Vince Russo being back- it's the only way to explain it because he's OBSESSED with the Beautiful People. The problem being, every time they've reunited they've gotten less Beautiful and more Plastic.
Bobby Roode v James Storm v Mr. Anderson v Lashley
As far as TV matches go this was real quality. There were some really fun spots, specifically things like the Beer Money Suplex spot which was just great. Although it REALLY made me miss the Machine Guns. What a great feud that was. Overall this was just a real quality match, all Four guys looked great in it- and Roode got the win to set-up the angle with PJ Black and what's to follow on the GFW front with Roode. So this segment was a big win. You know why? IT WAS FUCKING SIMPLE.
Dixie & Jeff Shenanigans
Dixie got the Mic- which instantly made this segment a negative one. Not only was it a negative segment when Dixie got the Mic. She was bullshitting everyone. Among other things she said TNA was a success- and with Jarrett the Product had been "on fire". NO. STOP IT. The first bit of this Promo was just stupid, and them just blatantly lying to us. Then Galloway came out aaaaaaaannnnnddddd THEY WENT TO A FUCKING AD BREAK. It was so urgent for Galloway to do what he needed to do that he was happy for the Advertisers to get their air-time.
Then we got back from the Ad Break and it all went to shit. The one thing that actually made sense was Galloway saying he had a Criminology Degree- he actually does. I don't even know how I knew that. I think Striker might have put it over on Smackdown one week or something. The rest of this segment was just a complete mess. So Galloway somehow got Security Footage and with no proof of who was actually driving them he accused Jarrett of attacking him. I don't know why they couldn't claim the cars were stolen SEEING AS THEY HAD JUST ATTACKED SOMEONE AND WANTED TO MAKE A QUICK GETAWAY.
So let's take that out of the equation. KAREN FUCKING JARRETT came out. It wasn't even Jeff, it was Karen who was the criminal mastermind behind the invasion. Then it all came to a head and the Invasion officially started with Jeff attacking Drew and the GFW guys coming in. I found this brawl absolutely great, pretty much everyone was wearing a T-Shirt that was predominantly black- so on my Stream I was watching on which was at a push 240p it looked like everyone was attacking everyone, apart from Hawkins who was in all blue. So this was basically a big "whodunnit" Soap Opera moment and I hated it. WRESTLING SHOULDN'T BE THIS COMPLICATED. Oh Yeah, Dixie's been hoodwinked again- shocker.
Apart from a few REALLY stupid angles this Episode was actually really good- we had some good Wrestling and when it comes to EC3 and the angle with Matt & Jeff it was good. So overall this episode was INFINITELY better than last week, but ended on such a shit note- pretty much the exact reverse of last week.
Thanks for reading as always, as said this Episode was quite fun all things considered- apart from the fucking Leg angle I wasn't pissed with anything on the show today. So, we're going to be here this time next week to do it all again! With this being my last Wrestling Post of August thanks to all of you lot who've been reading this month and especially across Summerslam weekend when they were coming thick and fast. Thanks again for reading, and let's all pretend the Leg angle just hasn't happened- what a better place the world would be.
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