My life could have turned out so different to how it has. I could be deaf or dead. I don't have an amazing memory before you start questioning how I know the dates from ages ago- and I've had to look up a few because it was so long ago.
I can't exactly remember what the official term is, but when I was a toddler I was for want of a better word- deaf. My parents told me one time they took me and my Brother on a Fishing Trip and the guy who was taking us out on the boat was also deaf, and I suppose we felt an affinity toward one another and we sat together for the best part of two hours fishing by ourselves (quite successfully so I'm told). When I was in early Primary School i.e. Reception/Year 1 I was having appointments with an "Ear Specialist" for want of a better term and had grommets in my ears to sort out my hearing difficulties, so I could have ended up wearing hearing aids pretty feasibly.
In Primary School I was bullied a lot, I'll preface this by saying I don't know why I let it go on as long as I did- but for people who do know me I'm quite a laid-back person and don't get stressed out or angry easily so I just let it happen, and it got on top of me, and by the later stages of Primary School I let it define me- and my life was hell sometimes- it was a bizarre thing where I was friends with a group of (roughly) 6-8, and by friends I mean go out and play Football in the Playground; obviously I spoke to others. But those same "friends" were also the ones who were bullying me- you could pass it off as "banter" but at the same time I don't think they would have done it in the manner in which they did as often as they did. But as I said I let it happen- for as long as it did, so while they were obviously to blame for it, I allowed it by not doing anything.
My family had a dog before they had me, her name was Charley- and she really was a beautiful Chocolate Labrador, but the problem with dogs is their lifespan is short in the grand-scheme of things- and she had Arthritis, and I don't remember the dates; I just remember she collapsed one evening when she was trying to jump up on the sofa. I remember the day vividly- we were having our kitchen redeveloped at the time so the large majority of our house was a building site; so we just had to make her as comfortable as possible before we could get her to the vets, and- well, ya know. I like to think of myself as a relatively soft person- I'd never try and upset someone, or even have a go at someone unless I was really provoked, so as you might be able to guess that hit me quite hard.
The thing with life is, you just move on- or you get left behind. Eventually I moved on- and got over it; the best you can. Then I had another hit, My Grandma on my Mum's side had been ill for quite a long time; and she eventually passed away, roughly 6-8 Months after Charley. So it turned out that once I'd finally really got over it- and back on my feet I got knocked down again (I'm going to avoid Chumbawamba for the most part). I internalise quite a lot of stuff, to my detriment and that definitely affected me as I was transitioning into Secondary School which is a massive change of pace anyway.
I Pretty much had 1 Properly Good year in Secondary School (Year 8), where everything fell into place and it was a "Purple Patch" for me. Then we moved on to Year 9, someone made up a rumour saying I was hit by a bus (don't ask) but I was completely absent from school for around about 2 Months straight, I was hit by something called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome- that I'm not going to get into just because I've had to explain what it is so many times to so many people http://www.googleautobot.com/?q=Chronic+Fatigue+Syndrome. So that pretty much knocked me for six- and while I've gotten better at managing it, its not something you "get over" like the flu. I'm a fully mobile person, I'm not going to say which Teacher- just because I know a few of my friends could be reading this; but one of my teachers told me about his wife suffering from the same thing- and it had gotten to the point where she is wheelchair bound. To put it simply its not my place to name names. So you could say I was unlucky that I got it, but also lucky it didn't hit me as hard as it could have done.
Then when I was just starting to get on top of my CFS- My Parents decided to get divorced, I'd seen it coming if I'm perfectly honest but it still hits you hard when they officially announce it and your dad moves out. I have a habit of worrying about making other peoples problems my Problems- so you can imagine the amount of unnecessary stress I put myself under as a result of this.
Now onto some more things where I've been lucky, but also unlucky. There are specifically two moments I'll single out- where on another day I could have genuinely died. The first one was on the way back from a "Rugby Weekend" with my Dad. I was (and still am a London Wasps) - I've been all over Europe for them. It was the Heineken Cup Groups and we were playing Celtic Warriors, somewhere in Bridgend. That was a Friday Night game- I vaguely remember the game just because of how scrappy it was. That was a Friday Night game, so we decided to go to The Arms Park on the Saturday for Cardiff Blues v Biarritz (which was another scrappy game) and then do the long drive back after that. I remember we'd just gone over the Severn Bridge around 20 Minutes before- I was getting hungry so we were looking out for Service Station signs- as you do, and then (baring in mind this was on a Motorway) the car in front of us suddenly just stopped, which set off a chain of events involving our car plowing into the back of the car in front- and the car behind us doing the same. It was a pretty bad crash- the car was a write off, but I came out of it with whiplash (not even a really bad form of it) and nothing else. I remember asking my Dad if I could go in the back to sleep- but for some reason he wanted me in the front, and had he have said yes; Chances are I would have at the very least gotten a broken bone or two.
That was in early 2004, I've completely abandoned chronology at this point. Now lets move on to something a lot more recent- namely October last year. I remember this even more vividly. Real Madrid had comfortably dispatched Liverpool earlier in the evening I was just getting into my usual routine of American Dad, Family Guy etc. on FOX- when I got up; I don't know why it happened- the Doctors at Kingston Hospital have no idea why it happened, there wasn't anything obvious when they checked me. But I ended up passing out- with my head crashing into the TV, and my left side going through the glass table below it. For those of you reading this that know me, they'll know I'm quite a big unit. I've gotten a couple of scars on my arm- and one on my left ear. But given how it happened had I been an inch or two more centered with regard to the position of my TV I'd have probably ended up with a scar or two on my head- or perhaps something worse. They didn't have the Camera Technology in 2004 that they do now- so I managed to get this picture of the damage zone.
My Chronic Fatigue Syndrome played a big factor in why I left school early- but it also had a lot to do with me having enough of it all. I was just slumming around for a bit. I got horrendously overweight- I've now done a lot about that I've lost just over 4 and a Half Stone in 8 Months- which is weird considering I'm not getting out nearly as much as when I was steadily gaining weight while still going to school and I'm still on a positive trajectory in that respect. And all of this has lead me to where I am now. I can't pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with Football (specifically Fulham) and Wrestling- but I did, and through all of the pain and hurt, they've been the two constants; I originally started this blog as an outlet, and its turned into something thats just gotten to 2,000+ Views in a Single Month with days to spare.
I always end these with a "Thank You for Reading" but some people might see that as a generalised statement, but I truly mean it, it honestly means so much to me that people are taking the time to read the pieces I've written. While I'm obviously not going to be doing this for the rest of my life- I can honestly say this is the happiest I've been for the Longest I've been ever, and in a weird way; I have to thank the anonymous readers for that- So Really, From the Bottom of my Heart- Thank You.
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