Hello! The Impact Reviews are back baybay! Like I said in my RAW Review I only really started feeling well on Wednesday Night so I figured I may as well just take the week off so to speak and come back this week better than ever. If you missed my RAW Review or Tough Enough Burial I'd check those out because I think they're pretty good this week.
Also, sorry in advance to those of you who read this when it first comes up at 6- I know there's some of you. Between Total Divas, Suits and of course ROH, NXT and TNA I only got to bed around 6am(ish) last night and I only woke up about Quarter Past 5 today. I know this doesn't affect all of you- but I just wanted to throw it out there. Anyway, there's no time to waste- no really there isn't, I'm trying to write this Review and get it up ASAP so let's get this Review done!
Dixie Carter's "Big" Announcement
I missed the first bit of this because I couldn't find a Stream that worked at first- but I tuned in and Dixie was trying to act sincere. Dixie and Act should never be in the same sentence. I don't know why you'd be reading a Review if you want to avoid Spoilers of last night's happenings but just in case SPOILER like anyone actually gives a damn about TNA- the new GM is Bully Ray. That's right Dixie Carter has put someone in charge who made it his mission to put her through a Table, Succeeded, Broke her Back and put her out for a year. But let's take that side complete out of the equation- it's still a huge anti-climax. Yes, I'd read the Spoilers so I knew what was coming- but I know there's some out there who avoid Spoilers like the Plague (Maybe the Chesterfield Plague) and the big hyped up announcement was someone who was on TNA TV roughly 2 Months ago. If it was someone genuinely shocking like someone who's name has recently been associated with WWE or ROH this'd be a different matter, but it wasn't and this whole segment just fell flat.
20 Man Battle Royal
The only things I took from this was that I could clearly see Hernandez, presumably because Battle Royals are too hard to edit around so TNA might end up getting a lawsuit for some of their non-existent money. If you missed the Hernandez story yesterday I'd highly recommend seeking it out- it's LOLTNA at it's best. The next thing I took from this was that at a guess I'd say about half of the people in the Battle Royal are gone from the Company now- so this was some weird Sixth Sense stuff where half of them are already dead. Not Bram though! He's signed a new Multi-Year Deal! Oh Yeah, Galloway Won.
Mr Anderson contemplates his Future
This whole will "X" retire angle is fine under the right circumstances. The Problem is, Nobody cares about Mr Anderson. I've been watching a load of TNA around 2010/11 lately in preparation for a Mega-Blog around September time if TNA does indeed get cancelled and that's made me care even less about Anderson because he was the least likeable Babyface ever when they were trying to basically push him as TNA's Stone Cold. To give you an idea of how much I don't care about Anderson, I'd genuinely forgotten they did the angle with Bram last week- and I love Bram.
Tigre Uno v Grado v DJ Z v Rockstar Spud
They're doing this weird angle where Tigre Uno calls out Donald Trump next week. I'm just going to throw it out there- I don't think Donald Trump watches or cares about TNA. The match itself was fine but the fact the commentary was focused on the Uno/Trump thing massively detracted from it all.
Brooke v Taryn Terrell- Knockouts Title
We had this really weird, well not weird but- something Vignette with Taryn before when she spoke like she was some sort of Primary School teacher. A Lesbian, Psycho-Bitch Primary School teacher. The match was really "meh" the Gail Kim stuff was a bit strange. I get they're trying to sell us on a darker Gail Kim, but the character still has a long, long way to go before I get on board with it. The thing is, surely the goal of the Knockouts should be to get the Title, Correct? So to have Gail Kim come in and get the Title on a Babyface makes no sense to me- because it's either going to be a Babyface/Babyface feud for the Belt or Gail will be inserted into a Triple Threat dynamic with Brooke and Taryn both of which she can't afford to lose in if they want her new character to get over. In short they've massively booked themselves into a corner- and with TNA's track record I've got no faith in them to work out a solution.
Kurt Angle's Announcement
The tumour stuff is a shame, but I can't say I'm not happy that Angle is getting some time off- even if it is for Surgery because his Body must be a complete wreck. I love Eric Young any time, and this was a good way for Angle to go out and give a rub to someone. Although looking back I would have liked Angle to cut a Promo saying that he's been in the Olympics etc. and people call him a hero- but the true Hero is Melendez *brings out Melendez* and says that Melendez is the guy everyone should be cheering for and basically give the rub to Melendez on his way out. This'd of course set-up Melendez going on a bit of a run, or turning Heel on Angle once Angle does come back for his match with EC3. The other interesting thing was the "whenever I want" term used for Angle's match with EC3 which to me makes it sound a bit like Money in the Bank. But Yeah, EY is great.
The Magnus/Storm stuff was presumably the segment the BDC were involved in- like I said, if you haven't already heard the Hernandez story I'd look it up.
EC3 v Drew Galloway- TNA WHC
*sigh* I really like both guys involved- I think I've made that abundantly clear. But what in the actual hell was that finish? I genuinely am having trouble finding a way to explain the finish. Basically it was the usual Tyrus stuff during EC3 matches- which then meant Eli Drake went down to ringside to "Even the Odds" firstly, How is a one-legged Drake supposed to be on a level playing field with Tyrus? Also, with what happened- Why would Drake make the save in the first place? The turn by Drake was almost stupidly obvious- even if you hadn't read the Spoilers you had that weird little Backstage thing but this was just an overbooked mess. Are we 100% sure Vince Russo is gone?
Last Nights Impact was really weird, it's not that I hated it- or even disliked it but there was nothing on the show that really got me into it like there usually is on a TNA show.
Thanks for reading as always, like I said for those of you who read these when it first comes out don't blame me- Blame Total Divas. Like I said though- Thanks for reading, I'm not entirely sure what post I'm going to bring out tomorrow- but I should be putting something out unless I wake up stupidly late again so stay tuned for that. Thanks again for reading- and let's all hope we see more of Norv Fernum.
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