Royal Rumble Predictions

Hello! It's been a while. We're here for the Royal Rumble, and with what's been rumoured for tonight, combined with what we've already seen- tonight could potentially be a night that completely re-energises the product on the "Road to Wrestlemania". As I did last year, I'm going to book an entire Royal Rumble Match. So, when I'm inevitably slagging off the Royal Rumble match tomorrow after Vince has won- I can say with proof that I'd have done better. On top of that we've got some really interesting matches on the card tonight, and as previously alluded to- this could turn into one hell of a PPV.

I think it's been pretty obvious that there's been another posting gap, and I can only apologise. For those of you that read these regularly, I'm sorry- but now I'm back and I'm going to be trying my best to stay here. Over the last few months I've been generally feeling like shit and my Chronic Fatigue's been affecting me for the most it has in easily 2-3 Years. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still feeling a bit "off", but I'm definitely going to try my absolute best to get back in the routine of doing these regularly. With that in mind, apologies in advance if there's any typos, spelling errors etc. and lets kick on with the Royal Rumble Predictions.

Pre-Show: The Dudleys v Damien Sandow & Darren Young v The Ascension v Jack Swagger & Mark Henry
It's not necessarily a guarantee, but I can't see anyone other than The Dudleys winning this match. The only other team I could even remotely see happening is The Ascension, and that would only be if they were planning on doing a Stardust Eliminated by Ascension and returns as Cody spot- which as you'll see in my Rumble later I'm not doing. That combined with the obvious rule of the Babyface winning on the Pre-Show and you've got The Dudleys winning this match with a 3D. Most likely on Sandow, because that'll show him.
Winner: The Dudleys

Dean Ambrose v Kevin Owens- IC Title Last Man Standing Match
Firstly, I'll say that this match should be absolutely great. Whether it will or not is another matter entirely, as has been proven time and time again in the WWE. Especially with one idea that I've got in mind for the Rumble, Kevin Owens may or may not be winning. Frankly I don't really care who wins this match, and depending on how much faith they have in Owens- he may or may not lose this match with some sort of shenanigans. Think Cena duct-taping Batista shenanigans. Kevin Owens is going to play a definite role in the Rumble Match- and it basically all depends on how much gas Kevin Owens, or rather how much gas those in charge think Kevin Owens has in the tank. I do definitely think Ambrose is winning though, for the simple fact that Owens' next feud doesn't "need" the Title- but it's for that reason that he still might end up winning.
Winner: Dean Ambrose

Becky Lynch v Charlotte- Divas Title
I haven't been able to quite work out what's triggered my recent bout of illness. With that said, I think the fact there's a well-booked Divas feud may have just sent my whole body into shock. I've loved the Becky Lynch/Charlotte feud, who'd have thought if you gave the Women booking that made sense and played to their strengths they'd get over eh? If you've read my Predictions before, or simply worked out what I'm doing in-terms of layout you'll know I'm predicting Becky to win this. This isn't the only Title switch I'm predicting for tonight, and on the "Road to Wrestlemania" (take a shot every time the Commentators say that tonight) I do think Title changes are the way to go in some cases. As is the case here, if- for no other reason than to keep this feud going for at least another Month.
Winner: Becky Lynch

New Day v The Usos- Tag Titles
I do think New Day's time to drop the Titles is coming pretty soon. I've still loved New Day for the most part over my Posting Break(s), and their funeral for Francesca was just great. However, I am starting to worry about them becoming a bit stale. It's not even necessarily the fact they need to break-up. They just need to freshen up again. In many ways, New Day are a victim of their own success. When they started out being great around May of last year, they didn't have many "parameters" with which they had to play in. Now, New Day are actually successful they're getting "hella merch" as I suspect Big E would say and with more exposure and more merch- the narrower the parameters.

I don't know if they should have New Day "snap" as I thought they were going to do around Summerslam, but they need to do something. With The Usos not as the favourites (at the time of writing), if I were betting on the Rumble- I'd say The Usos were worth a punt. However, for some reason I just don't think New Day are losing the Titles yet. I realise this is usually the type of logic that makes my Predictions fall apart- but still.
Winner: New Day

Kalisto v Alberto Del Rio- US Title
I did make jokes about Kalisto's US Title run, as I'm sure everyone else did. However, upon reflection- depending on tonight's outcome I might be all for it. My whole thing with the Kalisto Title win was within kayfabe it could be written off as a "fluke" win. This is where I believe "lightning doesn't strike twice" or any of those other sayings comes into play. If Kalisto beats Del Rio tonight, he's proven the first win wasn't a fluke. As is shown I'm predicting Kalisto to win tonight, but that's more to do with getting the Title off of Del Rio than putting it on Kalisto heading into Mania season. I do think of the Titles heading into Mania, the US is the one likely to end up on the Pre-Show- but for tonight I won't really care provided Kalisto does in fact win. If Del Rio wins then I'll have just rambled on for no reason.
Winner: Kalisto

Royal Rumble Match
Right then, it's what we all came here for. It's MY (most likely better) Royal Rumble match. As I've already said, I did this last year and I had a lot of fun.- and I don't see any reason why it shouldn't be this year. If you don't want to read the whole thing, there's going to be Bullet Points with the key goings on at the end. Without further ado, here's the Entrance Order;

#1- Roman Reigns
#2- Kevin Owens
#3- D-Von
#4- Ryback
#5- R-Truth
#6- Kane
#7- Sami Zayn
#8- Heath Slater
#9- Kofi Kingston
#10- Tye Dllinger
#11- Adam Rose
#12- Stardust
#13- Big Show
#14- Bo Dallas
#15- Luke Harper
#16- Curtis Axel
#17- Rusev
#18- Braun Strowman
#19- Xavier Woods
#20- Bubba Ray
#21- Big E
#22- Chris Jericho
#23- Erick Rowan
#24- Dolph Ziggler
#25- Bray Wyatt
#26- Brock Lesnar
#27- Sheamus
#28- Alberto Del Rio
#29- AJ Styles
#30- Samoa Joe

Let's get into the actual match then. I had to laugh at the fact my prediction for last years Rumble had Daniel Bryan entering at #1 as a result of shenanigans from The Authority- and here we are this year... with Roman Reigns at #1... as a result of shenanigans from The Authority. As I already mentioned I think Kevin Owens is going to have a big role in the Rumble, and he's entering at #2 for a reason.

Let me bring you back to December to Dismember in 2006, I know- I'm sorry. In the build to the match I believe Paul Heyman was pushing for Punk to enter the Extreme Elimination Chamber against The Big Show and beat him early. Guaranteeing a new Champion no matter what else happened in the Chamber. See where I'm going with this? The Royal Rumble during the last two years has just gone to shit because it's been way too predictable. While it's always only ever going to be a handful of people, the last two years have just been SO bad. With that in mind, I've got the hook to keep people invested right from the off.

Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens are squaring off and generally getting each other in various holds for the first 15 or so seconds. Then Triple H's music hits, and he's not in a Suit- he's got "Street Clothes" on and is armed with a Sledgehammer. Triple H is going to attack Roman and between him and Owens, Reigns is going to be overwhelmed and generally killed- and after about 45 Seconds-1 Minute of this Triple H and Owens are going to pick Roman Reigns up. Throw him over the Top Rope, and Eliminate Roman Reigns before the #3 has even come out. (Roman Reigns eliminated by Triple H/Kevin Owens). Then Triple H is going to follow him out and Pedigree him through the Spanish Announce Desk.

I know there's all the rumours about Triple H/Reigns for the Title, and while it's an obvious possibility- I personally don't see Triple H winning the Rumble. Also, Triple H/Reigns doesn't "need" the Title. With all that in mind, we're heading into the #3 Entrant with Roman Reigns already eliminated.

Especially with the number of injuries the WWE currently have, there's going to be notable "lulls" in-terms of Entrants. I've figured (with exceptions) it's best to get them out of the way early and build to a big crescendo. With that in mind, let's give Kevin Owens a Mic. Of course, after he's swiftly dispatched of D-Von. (D-Von eliminated by Kevin Owens). Kevin Owens will be talking about the "Kevin Owens Show" and how he's going to win the WWE Title, Headline Mania and all that stuff for the remainder of the time before #4. Same again when it comes to The Ryback, albeit with him putting up a bit more of a fight. (Ryback eliminated by Kevin Owens). Then we get to the first of a few of the traditional comedy spots in the Rumble. Enter R-Truth at #5. I've seen varied ideas when it comes to Truth, including him coming in at #31 which I have to admit I was considering. However, here's my idea. Truth's going to come out, rapping and dancing and generally... being R-Truth. As soon as he enters the ring he eats a Superkick from Owens and gets thrown over the Top Rope. (R-Truth eliminated by Kevin Owens). That'll all happen in about 25-30 of the 90 Seconds. Truth will get back to the back pretty quickly because he's "dazed" and then just as Kevin Owens is about to talk again "Y'ALL KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!" and Truth's going to come out rapping and dancing and generally... being R-Truth. Once the Ref's have explained to Truth that he's not in the Rumble any more he'll do the "My Bad" stuff and go back to the back.

This leaves us with Kevin Owens as the only surviving entrant heading into #6, and a bit of a dip in-terms of eliminations. In comes #6, and Kane making his traditional Rumble appearance. Owens and Kane are just going to go back and forth for the majority of their time- but toward the latter stages of this section Owens will catch Kane with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. Owens is going to be looking at getting another elimination and generally being smug when the Countdown hits zero and Sami Zayn's music hits.

I don't think this'll be that much of a surprise, but I still think the reaction to his return will be absolutely great. Zayn's obviously going to go straight after Owens, as is tradition and they're going to have a heated brawl with them going back and forth for a while. As the time before the next entrant counts down, Sami will throw Owens over the Top Rope- but not eliminate him. After another brief brawl Owens will put Sami over the Top Rope with him- and they're going to trade punches on the Ring Apron. Sami will get the advantage and Owens will be backed into a Corner with his Head near the Ringpost. Seeing an opportunity Sami lines up the "Helluva Kick" on Owens into the Ringpost, but as Sami hits the Kick- Owens hits a Superkick and they eliminate each other. (Kevin Owens eliminated by Sami Zayn/Sami Zayn eliminated by Kevin Owens). However, it doesn't stop there. With Sami and Owens brawling to the back- and at least for now out of sight.

With one of the main angles of the Rumble out of the way, it's Slater Time Baybay! This is going to be the time period where the ring fills up with jobbers to eventually be killed by others for the most part. As such, nothing much will happen in Slater's Time- other than some kicks aimed at Kane and general show-boating. Then comes Kofi Kingston, who's going to be one of the best participants this year in-terms of time in the Rumble- but as before with Slater nothing much will happen with him yet. Moving onto #10 and- WAIT DID SOMEONE SAY... 10?! It's Tye Dillinger! Tye deserves a throwaway spot in the Rumble with how long he's been around, but just a throwaway. Tye's going to be doing his "10" stuff all the way down the Ramp, he'll get in do more "10" stuff- and if they've timed it right- from the time Dillinger enters the Ring to the time Kane eliminates him (Tye Dillinger eliminated by Kane) Tye would have lasted 10 Seconds.

Now keeping up with the "fill the ring" mentality, Adam Rose enters- to also make it two Social Outcasts in the Ring. However, not much will happen in Rose's time. Then comes Stardust, and the same will happen with him and his time. The favourite for the Royal Rumble, The Big Show is out next- and aside from him chopping everyone in sight, generally being a Giant and squaring off with Kane not much will happen with him. Now to add another Outcast into the mix we get Bo Dallas, but he's going to be doing everything within his power to not engage with Show, Kane, Kofi and Stardust during his time. Next comes Luke Harper, and with so many "monsters" in the ring now, the Outcasts, Stardust and Kofi have become pacifists and are in the Corners watching Harper, Show and Kane all sizing each other up. After a brief three-way brawl Harper's going to Superkick Kane over the Top Rope (Kane eliminated by Luke Harper).

Then out comes the 4th Outcast, for the first of the completed factions and it's Curtis Axel! After RAW, and now the Outcasts have the 4-on-1 they're going to go straight after Big Show. However, instead of getting knocked out by Show- they're going to eventually overwhelm him and eliminate him. (The Big Show eliminated by The Social Outcasts). Not content with just eliminating Big Show, they're going to employ a similar tactic on Stardust and eventually eliminate him as well. (Stardust eliminated by The Social Outcasts). Rusev's out next, and apart from Superkicking Harper after a brief back and forth he's not going to do much- because the Social Outcasts will once again overwhelm him. However, he won't be eliminated by them and he's going to hang on.

During this part of the match, which isn't massively important in the grand scheme of things- they're going to cut backstage to Zayn and Owens still fighting and eventually Owens and Zayn will end up brawling in the Crowd. Owens and Zayn will make their way toward the technical area, think the end of Cena/Wyatt Last Man Standing and Kofi Boom Dropping Orton through a Table at MSG. If it were up to me, I'd have Owens Package Piledriving Sami through a Table here. However, it's WWE- so I'll take a Sit-Out Powerbomb resulting in both guys being completely out and a bit later on when there's a lull in the fighting (which will become obvious) they'll once again do the Split-Screen thing and it'll show Sami and Owens being stretchered out.

Braun Strowman is out next, and if you're been following me on Twitter you'll know I'm predicting big things (emphasis on big) for Strowman in this Rumble. It's going to start with The Outcasts trying to overwhelm him as they did Rusev as soon as he enters. You know the "Roar" spot, "Giants" do when there's a load of people on them at once. I've always wanted it to result in eliminations. So, Strowman's going to do the "Roar" Spot- and he'll have done it with such aggression that all four of the Outcasts will end up going over the Top Rope and being eliminated. (Adam Rose, Curtis Axel, Heath Slater & Bo Dallas eliminated by Braun Strowman). However, Axel is of course still in the 2015 Rumble. So he'll start freaking out shouting "THAT WAS LAST YEARS" before running back in and immediately being Superkicked back over the Top Rope by Harper. Next Harper and Strowman will go after Rusev, and after a brief struggle (Rusev eliminated by Strowman/Harper). Next out is Xavier Woods, and as soon as he enters he's going to look around for Kofi and see him out in the Corner and then see Harper and Strowman and panic and after a very brief struggle Strowman's going to murder and Harper's going to Superkick him out, leaving Xavier dead on the outside (important for later). (Xavier Woods eliminated by Luke Harper). Kofi's still going to hang on for now- and especially because this is his first Rumble as a Heel, he can afford to do various "cheap tactics" e.g. hanging onto the Bottom Rope for dear life. The next entrant, Bubba Ray won't be so lucky. He's going to come out and have a brief flourish- he's going to call for the 3D, look at Kofi hanging onto the Bottom Rope and Kofi's just point blank going to refuse to move. As a result, Bubba's going to turn around, eat a Superkick and get eliminated by Luke Harper as the clock counts down to zero. (Bubba Ray eliminated by Luke Harper).

Next out is Big E, and he's going to put up more of a fight- even to the point of actually taking Harper out and squaring off with Strowman. Now Big E's in, Kofi's a bit more confident in leaving the Bottom Rope as well- and Big E and Kofi are going to briefly get the advantage over Strowman and Kofi's going to Trouble in Paradise Strowman into a Corner so he can take a breather. The reason they won't try and eliminate him is the next entrant, Chris Jericho. Jericho's going to run wild for a bit on Kofi, Big E and Harper- and after a bit of a struggle he's going to eliminate Big E (Big E eliminated by Chris Jericho). However, immediately after Kofi will throw Jericho over the Tope Rope- but not eliminate him yet. After some brief punches it looks like Jericho has the upper-hand. But, Xavier's back on his feet- and he has a new Trombone. Again, as with the Owens/Zayn stuff if it were up to me and it were 10 Years ago I'd have Xavier throw Kofi the Trombone and Jericho take a Trombone to the Head. However, it's 2016 so I'll take Xavier hitting Jericho in the Legs to eliminate him. (Chris Jericho eliminated by Francesca 2). As soon as Jericho hits the Floor Big E will pick him up and give him the Big Ending.

However, as Kofi's celebrating the elimination of the MURDERER- he'll turn around and see Braun Strowman and Luke Harper. I'm not entirely sure how they'd do it, and it could very well go wrong but I want Strowman to press Kofi over the Top Rope- and Kofi to somehow end on the Barrier on the Hard Camera side. Yup, it's the Kofi Spot. With Big E and Xavier still out there, Kofi's going to use them as Stepping Stones to get back on the Ring Apron. As this is happening Erick Rowan's entering and as soon as Kofi's back on the Apron, Rowan will barrel into Big E and Harper will Superkick Kofi eliminating him. (Kofi Kingston eliminated by Luke Harper). Once that's happened we've got 3 of the Wyatts in the ring, with Bray the only one yet to enter- with The Family waiting for the next entrant.

That next entrant comes in the shape of Dolph Ziggler, and it goes without saying he's not going to last long. After a brief struggle he's going to succumb to the Family and be eliminated. (Dolph Ziggler eliminated by The Wyatt Family). Next in is the leader of The Wyatts- and Bray is going to take his time coming in and once he does he'll do his "WE ARE ..." type stuff and how he's going to win the Rumble and it's "his". Basically, it looks like Bray's going to win- and with his whole Family in there with him it's looking pretty good for him. Enter Brock Lesnar. I had Wyatts/Lesnar as a sub-plot in this before RAW, but now it just doesn't look crazy. Brock's going to enter and... be Brock. The goal of the Family is to protect Bray- meaning all three of them will be taking Suplexes regularly. Rowan will be the first to go*

*Quick aside, for the Kofi Spot I had an idea for Brock to German Suplex Kofi over the Top Rope- with Kofi landing on his back with his Legs in the air before transitioning into a Head-Stand Kip-Up back onto the Apron. Then I thought more and realised Brock German Suplexing Kofi over the Top-Rope to the floor would be 99% likely to kill him.

(Erick Rowan eliminated by Brock Lesnar), next on the Chopping Block is Luke Harper who won't last much longer- but as you've seen I reckon he'll have a good showing tonight. (Luke Harper eliminated by Brock Lesnar). What we get next might be the foreshadowing of a Mania match, although I still doubt it quite a bit. With Strowman and Brock squaring off. All of this with Bray laughing in the Corner, because he fucking loves this sort of chaos. Just as they're about to actually fight each other, the Countdown hits zero and Sheamus enters. Sheamus will come in and it's Brogue Kick City. Hitting Strowman with one to knock him into a Corner, before hitting Brock with one- but with that not knocking him down he goes for another one and as he's running back for it Bray will do the thing where he basically just runs into someone. Apart from that not much will happen, as we now build to the "big finish". After Sheamus, we get his League of Nations comrade Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio will run wild for a bit with Enzuigiri's and Superkicks on everyone before doing the thing where they just start kicking someone in a corner for a while, most likely Brock to "keep him down".

Next, in the moment we're all anticipating tonight- AJ Styles will enter at #29. I've seen a lot of talk about the Styles Clash- a lot of I'm assuming is joking. However, there has been some people legitimately saying that the WWE won't let AJ use the Styles Clash- to which I point out Joe is still using the Muscle Buster after Tyson Kidd. Anyway, STYLES CLASH'S FOR EVERYONE! Well, not everyone. AJ will gives Styles Clash's to Del Rio and Sheamus, and not long after eliminate Del Rio. (Alberto Del Rio eliminated by AJ Styles). With everyone down, and Del Rio just eliminated- AJ will do the Glove Pose to the Hard Camera. Just as he's got his Hands up, the timer hits zero and Samoa Joe's Music hits. This whole angle depends on the Commentators, and it's for that reason that I might even prefer it not to happen. However, Joe and AJ have a history that can't be ignored- and heading into a Mania with so many injuries an entirely new feud (in WWE) is something they shouldn't pass up. What we'll then get is a Mini-Match of sorts with both AJ and Joe attempting various "high impact" moves on each other. Until Bray and Strowman intervene and attack both into different corners.

There we have it, that's the 30 Entries- and after the 30 we're left with Braun Strowman, Bray Wyatt, Brock Lesnar, Sheamus, AJ Styles and Samoa Joe to fight it out. With Strowman and Bray back in control of the match, it's time to change that- with Brock returning to the action. He'll give Bray a German Suplex and then Strowman an F5 before eliminating Strowman. (Braun Strowman eliminated by Brock Lesnar). Next to go is Sheamus, also by Brock (Sheamus eliminated by Brock Lesnar) leaving us with the Final Four of Brock, Bray, Joe and AJ.

You could probably get really good Odds on this being the Final Four, looking at Paddy Power individually it's 1/25 for Brock, 4/11 for Bray, 13/5 for AJ and 18/1 for Joe. Unfortunately I can't do an Accumulator, thanks Paddy Power. Anyway, I genuinely believe this should be the Final Four. This years Mania is going to be huge in-terms of the landscape of the WWE going forward, so having three of the Final Four of the Rumble be relatively "new" stars who can play a big part in the WWE over the next 2-3 years- and in Bray's case even longer.

Right then, the Final Four has to become a Final Three- and the first to go will be Bray Wyatt at the hands of Brock after a bit of a fight. (Bray Wyatt eliminated by Brock Lesnar). My logic for putting Bray Wyatt out first is that we've already had Lesnar/Wyatts teased this week and in the match. On the other hand, I'd have Joe kicking and punching AJ in the Corner while Brock is eliminating Bray- before turning around. *gasp* It's Brock Lesnar and Samoa Joe facing each other. This is a fucking dream match, at least for me. If they do end up teasing this tonight, regardless of position in the match I'll mark out. Anyway, after a stiff as anything brawl Brock will F5 Joe and throw him over the Top Rope. (Samoa Joe eliminated by Brock Lesnar).

This leaves us with Brock Lesnar and AJ Styles. Another Dream Match, and the best bit? It's a no-lose situation in-terms of the winner. The crowd will not give a fuck if Brock or AJ win, because either way he's one of "their guys". The result,? A crowd actually invested in what's happening in the ring. After we get some back and forth, I'd have AJ setting Brock up for the Styles Clash- but Brock fights out of it and German Suplexes AJ. Brock goes for the F5, AJ fights out and eventually hits the Styles Clash on Brock.

Then we get the thing where the person who is about to be eliminated weighs 1 Million lbs and AJ struggles to get Brock up and over the Top Rope. Just as AJ is about to win, Brock comes around like the Beast he is, F5's AJ and then throws him over the Top Rope.
Winner: Brock Lesnar

Key Parts
- Sami Zayn debuts & he and Owens eliminate each other and brawl all over the Arena
- Social Outcasts eliminate The Big Show
- Braun Strowman eliminates all 4 Social Outcasts at once
- The "Kofi Spot" is Kofi using Big E & Xavier as Stepping Stones back to the Ring
- Brock/Wyatts is one of the main angles in the Rumble
- Final Four is Brock, Bray, AJ Styles & Samoa Joe
- Final Two is Brock & AJ

I've said this throughout, and I still believe it now. Brock Lesnar is winning the Royal Rumble. After this Rumble there's so many potential matches for Mania, and just off the back of this match you could easily get;

Roman Reigns v Triple H
Brock Lesnar v Bray Wyatt- WWE Title (or The Rock if they could work something out)
Sami Zayn v Kevin Owens
New Day v Chris Jericho & The Usos
Samoa Joe v AJ Styles

That's 5 matches on the card right there, 4 of which would be absolutely great.

If you're interested in stats, or if you've got a "Most Eliminations" Bet here you go;
Most Eliminations- Brock Lesnar (7)

I could be completely wrong with this, and Triple H might end up winning the Rumble as the Bookies seem to indicate. However, I just don't see it happening for some reason- and I think putting the Title on Triple H, only for him to drop it back to Roman at Mania is a waste. You'll have also noticed I didn't do any "Legend" returns, for the simple fact that I wasn't sure where to fit them in and who they would be. Although, Barrett's absence may or may not be down to Papa Shango.

Thanks for reading as always, I hope you had fun reading my Rumble. At around 4am tonight, we can come back here and re-read my Rumble and realise what could have been. As I said, I hope you liked it- and even if you didn't/completely disagree with with my Predictions feel free to tell me. Thanks again for reading, let's hope that at the very least tonight is a lot of fun- and the Rumble match is actually good. Which, after the last two years may not be a guarantee. Just remember folks, tonight we're going to witness Heath Slater Main-Eventing a PPV for the WWE Title.