That's right, I'm back for more. I'm at the point where I'm just still watching these shows because I want to see this Destination America run through. Speaking of which, we're in September now- which is of course (supposedly) the last month of said run on Destination America. I asked last night and I'll ask again now, if there's a date on the last episode of Impact I'll appreciate it. Last Nights Episode was- Let's just get into it.
Jeff & Karen Jarrett Promo
This was all just hilarious, Jarrett's Promo saying the GFW "Supershow" was "Off the Chart successful" made me howl with laughter. Josh trying to act like the morally outraged Babyface was even more hilarious, he's the most naturally dislikeable person on the planet in my book- he's just SUCH a dick. The other Mini-Promos were fine and it set up the first match. I would have told you this segment was a waste, BUT ROYAL RED WAS BACK! The most obscure person in Wrestling History was back on my Screen.
Lashley v Chris Mordetzky
The actual match section of this was fine, I'm genuinely surprised they weren't putting over the fact Lashley had broken the Master/Mordetzky Lock. I know it's TNA, but it's never stopped them acknowledging WWE before. Then we got the finish and subsequent happenings that just broke me. The DQ Finish in isolation was fine, but when you consider- as someone made a point to me yesterday in defence of an issue I'll make later this was the first match since the Invasion "officially" began, you'd think they would have had Mordetzky win.
Brian Myers & Trevor Lee v The Wolves
This segment just broke me. The Feast or Fired thing was fair enough, especially with them forcing the Ref to cash it in- that bit was fine.
Now onto all of the stupidity. The Wolves come out for the save on Lashley and they get killed, that's fair enough. Then we had the Feast or Fired spot- and EARL HEBNER was the Valiant Babyface who stood up to them, which is especially stupid given what happened in a later segment. Then we move on to the actual match, because fuck me this was stupid. Let me just break this down for you. The Wolves came out before an Ad Break to help Lashley, got overwhelmed and killed for a WHOLE 5 Minute Ad Break, came back from the Ad Break and were still getting killed.
By simple logic you'd think it would be simple for Myers & Lee, two fresh guys to dispatch of the near-dead Wolves. NOPE. Myers & Lee are so incompetent that they couldn't put The Wolves away, nearly lost the match and required a distraction from I believe Sonjay and a Briefcase Shot in order to win the Tag Titles. This is the Invasion Angle we're supposed to take seriously.
Bobby Roode v PJ Black- KOTM Title
This actual match was great. Both of these guys are great workers, PJ Black's theme is still great and it turns out it's from Jeff Hardy's band. This match was just great. The only problem I've got with this whole segment- other than the fact it's the King of the Mountain Title not being defended in a King of the Mountain match. The Bobby Roode Promo. If you missed it/don't watch Impact Roode's whole Promo was how he's a "TNA Guy", a TNA Original who lives for TNA- which just instantly made everyone with a brain go "Well, He's Turning". Even without the reading the Spoilers you knew it was going to happen after his Promo. That annoyed me, but on the whole it was a great match.
Dixie/Jarrett Announce Lethal Lockdown
This segment actually annoyed me. But first the good, ROYAL RED WAS IN THE RING! Now for the hilarious, DIXIE CARTER said she learned from her mistakes. The same Dixie Carter who hired Vince Russo back multiple times. Then we basically got the Lethal Lockdown announcement and Galloway, The Wolves and Lashley came out for Team WWF. The problem being, WHERE THE FUCK WAS GALLOWAY AND LASHLEY WHILE THE WOLVES WERE GETTING KILLED & LOSING THEIR TAG TITLES EARLIER?
Don't give me about how Lashley was taken out prior to the Wolves stuff, it was practically 10 Minutes between them attacking Lashley and The Wolves finally getting pinned. The Wolves who were taking a beating for the whole time still had enough energy left to practically beat Myers & Lee. Lashley on the other hand was just outside the ring selling presumably, DID THEY SHOOT HIM?! What could they possibly have done to Lashley to render him incapable of helping the Wolves for around about 10 Minutes? Or, More likely Lashley abandoned them, in which case- WHY IS HE FACING THE ALLIANCE?! Let's say for the sake of argument that Lashley was dead, WHERE WAS GALLOWAY?! The levels of stupidity with this booking just astonished me. I can deal with them doing this angle along with all that stuff- BUT DON'T DO IT ON THE SAME SHOW.
Bram v Kenny King
I found this hilarious. Firstly, there could have been a very real chance that they edited Bram and in turn Kenny King off the show. In which case Kenny would have been the most unlucky person in Wrestling. But it wasn't edited off, and we got Kenny King turning Babyface- although I think he had a run in him as "The One Man Clan". So Kenny King turned Babyface, called out anyone- got Bram and got killed in I'd guess 4 Minutes. Things are not looking good for the King of the Night.
Velvet Sky "Speaks her Mind"
I was ready to hate this segment, especially considering this was one of the points of the show that they were pushing. The Velvet Promo was just "meh", I didn't hate it. The Taryn stuff was hilarious because the crowd were popping when Taryn was insulting Velvet, Oh Yeah- Velvet wanted Taryn to come out after she'd broken her hand/finger. So not only did the Babyface Velvet Sky in a gang attack injure the Heel, she now was expecting Taryn the Heel to wrestle with said injury meaning Velvet would have the clear advantage in the match. I'll say it again, WHAT A BITCH!
Then we got the best moment in TNA History. The Rebel turn last week was solely to reunite the Beautiful People- because Vince Russo's back. Then when the Beautiful People's music hit NOBODY GAVE A SINGLE FUCK, and I just burst out laughing. People did make the point that there were "Beautiful People" chants- to which I say, go back and listen to it. It was at the most 10 People just with the crowd mic either next to them- or they were just turned up. This was just amazing to me. Even without the thing with Velvet, Angelina and Madison all wanting to kill each other less than 2 Months ago it's just stupid.
Also, How is it that Madison is now the best looking one in the Beautiful People?!
EC3 v Matt Hardy- TNA World Title
This was actually quite a fun match. As I've said over the last few weeks this feud has surprised me quite a lot- so on that front I do give credit to EC3 and Matt. The match was fine, and it told a good story. If I had one nitpick it was that Jeff didn't stop the first belt shot, I can only assume he wasn't paying attention- or he actually wanted to work for EC3. But overall this was fun, but I won't spoil it for you- but the next few weeks they're going to be doing their best to kill this feud as well. But like I said last week, this feud's been good enough to develop enough goodwill with me to at least give the next few weeks a go.
This episode wasn't as bad as there's been in recent weeks, but they've still killed this Invasion Angle- because everyone in it is completely incompetent and can't win a match clean. The only clean win a GFW Person has is PJ Black in the KOTM Match- and GFW Guys have had about 6 or 7 matches on Impact now. I don't know why I still have the energy to actually care about TNA, like I said I'm pretty much still watching because I want to see this Destination America run through- and if I'm watching there's no chance I'm not going to Review the show.
Thanks for reading as always, with so few Impacts left for the foreseeable future seemingly it is worth carrying on watching until the end now. If this was August or July I may well have gone on another boycott. We're having a slow start to September after the chaos that was August- so thanks to all of you who've been reading. Unless something massive happens, which given how this weeks gone is entirely possible the next post will be the RAW Review. Thanks again for reading, and remember- never rely on Lashley and Drew Galloway to have your back.
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